I love him but I hate me

4

"MOM !!" I screamed while we rolled 5 times off the hill.

"IT WAS YOUR FAULT CHARLOTTE !" Mom screamed at me .

"I KNOW MOM , IM SORRY , SORRY , SORRY , SORRY , SORRY ! LETS GET OUT !" I screamed while crying.

"No." She said nonchalantly .
"Mom please lets both get out !" I pleaded her while crying .

"If I cant get out NEITHER CAN YOU!" She said the last words holding onto me . The loud bang was followed by fire and dark smoke.

"M-Mom I-I Cant-t Breat-the..." I told her .
"It was your fault so youre DYING WITH ME CHARLOTTE!"

"I-I CANT-T BREA-"

Ring ring.
Ring ring.

I opened my eyes , my breathing fast the same as my heart, I was sweating and crying . Looking to my left there was my phone with my alarm ringing .

Stoping the alarm I drink some water while my hands were shaking .

I get up from my bed trying not to trip and go into the bathroom . I look into the mirror and I was a mess.

Messy hair , bloodshot eyes , puffy lips , dark circles under eyes and very sweaty .

So I got into the shower the hot water made me feel better imediatly .

I scrubbed my whole body while tears droped from my eyes . Getting out I wrap a towel around myself and take out my body lotion from under the sink .

After putting on body lotion I put the towel around myself and go into my closet where I dress up with some cream shorts , a navy fitted t-shirt , and some nike socks .

I do my skin care and put on some concelear to cover my dark circles , put on some mascara and some lip balm.

Checking my phone I see 3 messages from Eve.

Eve🤍

Eve🤍: I love u , dont forget to eat and I hope u didnt have a very bad nightmare bae x ❤️‍🩹

Eve🤍: If u want I can come over or u come over , because my roomie is with her bf

Eve🤍: Dont forget to text me back and tell me whats on you mind ❤️

Me: Heyy , I had a nightmare but it wasnt very , very bad ... yk?

Me: And Im free all day so u can come to mine whenever u want 😋

Eve chose to stay in dorms because she wanted to really live her life and see the experience , make new friends because she really was an extrovert ,  but we would still visit eachother and have sleepovers .

Closing my phone , I take the sheets off my bed because they were sweaty and take some new ones from the closet.

They were white with pink little flowers and some hearts . They were one if my favorites . I spray some parfume and open my window for some fresh air .

I put my hair in a pony , I check myself in the mirror and im done , so I close the window because I dont want to be hot in here , only some fresh morning air .

Getting out the door I see Lucas's door slightly open . Of curiosity I take a peek .

Inside was Lucas with only a towel on , staying on his phone on the bed , facing the door .

Now , running downstairs I try to imagine ugly things so im not blushing anymore, but his abs appear and make me redder . Hes so fine .