I love him but I hate me

4

"MOM !!" I screamed while we rolled 5 times off the hill.
"IT WAS YOUR FAULT CHARLOTTE !" Mom screamed at me .
"I KNOW MOM , IM SORRY , SORRY , SORRY , SORRY , SORRY ! LETS GET OUT !" I screamed while crying.
"No." She said nonchalantly .
"Mom please lets both get out !" I pleaded her while crying .
"If I cant get out NEITHER CAN YOU!" She said the last words holding onto me . The loud bang was followed by fire and dark smoke.
"M-Mom I-I Cant-t Breat-the..." I told her .
"It was your fault so youre DYING WITH ME CHARLOTTE!"
"I-I CANT-T BREA-"

Ring ring.
Ring ring.

I opened my eyes , my breathing fast the same as my heart, I was sweating and crying . Looking to my left there was my phone with my alarm ringing .

Stoping the alarm I drink some water while my hands were shaking . I get up from my bed trying not to trip and go into the bathroom . I look into the mirror and I was a mess. Messy hair , bloodshot eyes , puffy lips , dark circles under eyes and very sweaty .

So I got into the shower the hot water made me feel better imediatly . I scrubbed my whole body while tears droped from my eyes . Getting out I wrap a towel around myself and take out my body lotion from under the sink .

After putting on body lotion I put the towel around myself and go into my closet where I dress up with some cream shorts , a navy fitted t-shirt , and some nike socks . I do my skin care and put on some concelear to cover my dark circles , put on some mascara and some lip balm.

Checking my phone I see 3 messages from Eve.

Eve🤍

Eve🤍: I love u , dont forget to eat and I hope u didnt have a very bad nightmare bae x ❤️‍🩹

Eve🤍: If u want I can come over or u come over , because my roomie is with her bf

Eve🤍: Dont forget to text me back and tell me whats on you mind ❤️

Me: Heyy , I had a nightmare but it wasnt very , very bad ... yk? 💔

Me: And Im free all day so u can come to mine whenever u want 😋

Eve chose to stay in dorms because she wanted to really live her life and see the experience , make new friends because she really was an extrovert , but we would still visit eachother and have sleepovers .

Closing my phone , I take the sheets off my bed because they were sweaty and take some new ones from the closet. They were white with pink little flowers and some hearts . They were one if my favorites . I spray some parfume and open my window for some fresh air . I put my hair in a pony , I check myself in the mirror and im done , so I close the window because I dont want to be hot in here , only some fresh morning air .

Getting out the door I see Lucas door slightly open . Of curiosity I take a peek . Inside was Lucas with only a towel on , staying on his phone .

Now , running downstairs I try to imagine ugly things so im not blushing anymore, but his abs appear and make me redder . Hes so fine .

Downstairs was Eli making pancakes and scrambled eggs .

"Good morning Eli !" I say while taking him into a hug from behind .
"Good morning sunshine !" He says while turning around and kissing my forehead.
"How did u sleep?" He asks . The question froze me . Pictures of my nightmares appear in my mind .
"Lottie are u ok?" Eli asks me worried.
"Uh.. Yeah just a bad dream .." I say while slightly smiling .
"How about u?" I ask fast , so he cant question me about my nightmare .
"Good!" He says while putting the scrambled eggs into 3 plates .

"Go sit at the island!" He says while going there with the food .
"Ok!" I say .
Putting on the island the 3 plates , a big plate with pancakes and 3 glasses .
"Want coffee , water , apple juice or milk ?" He asks me.
"Some apple juice ." I answer .

While Eli was pouring my apple juice and himself water , Luke came into the kitchen .
"Good morning y'all!" He says with a smile .
"Good morning !" Me and Eli both say it at the same time with smiles.
"Damn , thats some good food ! " Luacs says practically drooling over the food.
He goes and takes a cool water bottle out of the fridge and he drinks the whole bottle of water in one go .

I starts to munch on the food and take a glange over at Lucas , just to see that hes looking at me and Eli .
"I have something on my face ?" I ask curiously.
"No ! I was looking at u and Eli and y'all really look alike !" He says amazed.
"Well because we are siblings ." I say while rolling my eyes at his stupid response .

Me and Eli had blonde hair and dimples , but I had brownish eyes and he had green . We had kind if the same face shape . When we were little we got often mistaked by beeing twins . In school all the girls were drooling after him . And some of the boys were drooling after me too but Eli was and still is , super over protective .

I only had one boyfriend . We were together for 2 years . From the age of 14 till the age of 16 . He cheated on me last year with my bestfriend , now ex best friend , sophia . Eve was already my best friend, we meet in kidergarten and were inseparable from then on . I met sophie when I was 12 , so I had 2 best friends.

"Oh ! By the way Eve will come over !" I say smiling at the thought of her . Looking at Eli , I see his face softened when I mentioned Eve.

"Lucas?" I ask him.
"Mhm?" He answers .
"Wanna know a secret" I say giving Eli a side eye and smirking .
"Hell yeah ! Spill it!" Lucas says .
"LOTTIE DONT U DARE SAY WHAT IM THINKING OF !" Eli screams pointing a finger at me.
"Too late bae!" I say laughing .
"SPILL IT ! I WANNA KNOW !" Lucas screams as well.
"ELI HAS A CRUSH ON EVE BUT HES A BABY AND TOO SCARED TO TELL HER OR DO A MOVE!" I scream laughing and smiling .
"LOTTIE , I SWEAR TO GOD !" He say while getting up from the stool and coming towards me. I already knew whats going to happen so I get up and run into the livingroom grabbing a pillow.

"DONT U DA-" Before Eli could finish I throw a pillow at him .
"FINE !" He says while sprinting towards me .
Trying to run I couldnt get far because Eli plays footbal so hes faster than me . Eli throws me on his shoulder and throws me on the couch where he tickle me .
"S-SORRY !" I say between my laugh.
"C'mon man ! Leave Lottie alone and go tell Eve what u feel !" Lucas says laughing .
"Im scared dude ! What if she rejects me !" Eli says looking at lucas .

I saw the oportuninty so I got hold of his hands and , got up , and ran behind Lucas .
"ELI IF U DONT TELL HER U LIKE HER , IM GONNA DO IT FOR U !" I scream and holding onto Lucas while taking a peek at Eli
"FINE!" Eli says throwing his arms in the air . "Im gonna do it today ." He says with a slight smile.
"HELL YEAH!" Me and Lucas say it at the same time so we all start laughing.

Ring ring .

My phone vibrates in my pocket so i check it .
"Guess whos calling Eli?" I ask him.
"Who?" He asks confused.
"The future love of ur life aka ur fiturw wife aka Eve !" I say while swiping the green button on the screen.

"Yes Eve?" I ask her.
"It is ok if I come now ?" She says.
"Yep! Im gonna send u the adress and the apartment!" I say excited.
"Okay bye!" She says before ending the call.

"SHES COMING OVER NOW !" I scream while jumping from happiness.
"LUCAS U MAKE THE LIVING ROOM LOOK PRESENTABLE ! AND U ELI GO CLEAN THE KITCHEN!"
"Yes ma'am !" they say at the same time .