I love him but I hate me

12 - Lucas

"This is the last shop , I promise !" Lottie says running into another clothing store.

Thats what she said for the 5 past shops . My arms are full with makeup bags , clothing , a purse and some shoes . I follow her inside , leaving the bags at the reception and go after her so I won't lose her.

"Isn't this cute ?" She ask holding in front of her a white dress with pink flowers .

"It's beautiful." I truthfully say.

"Ok, hold it ." She says passing it to me .

"Don't u think u already got enough?" I ask , wanting to know how long till I'm going to eat.

"Hmm," She says scrathing her chin and squinting her eyes , looking around the store.
"Let's go find sunglasses and we can go ."

"Ok ." I say following her to the accesories colection .

"This or this?"

"Those ones ." I say picking up a pair of sunglasses from the shelf , not one of her options .

"Ok , these can do . Let's go pay !" She smiles.

"Bonjour , juste ceux-là !" Lottie says .
(Hello , just these !)

"Bonjour , ce sera 30€ ."
(Hello , this will be 30€)

"Voilà! Au revoir." She says paying .
(There u go ! Goodbye.)

"Im starving!!!!" I exclaim .

"C'mon , it's just a little shopping!" She say laughing .

That laugh . Oh , how I love it .

Her laugh was soft and delicate , like the first notes of a song u never wanted to end . It had a warmth to it , a kind of quiet vulnerability that made you feel like she was letting you in on something secret and beautiful.

When she laughed , her eyes lit up just a little , and the sound seemes to wrap around you , pulling you closer . It wasn't loud or overwhelming - it was the kind of laugh that made you stop whatever you were doing just to savor it .

I pick up the bags from the reception and kissed her cheek , then we headd to the stairs so we can go order food and eat .

Arriving there I ask .
"What would u like to eat ? I think I want Taco Bell."

I see her lookin around at all the stalls thenn she says ,"I'm not really hungry ."

Not meeting my gaze , I put all the bags in my left hand so I can grab her chin and tilt it so she meets my eyes .

"You have to eat princess. Please ," I beg her .

"J-just a little . For you ." She sad-smiles.

"Should I get u a croissant-sandwich?" I ask.

"Ok." She whispers .

"U go find a table and I'll go order . Can u take the bags ?"

"Yeah." She says taking them in her hands . She struggles a little but she can do it .

"Call me if anything happens ." I kiss her cheek then go to order food .

"Are u ok?" I ask putting the food trays down , then sitting next to her in the booth.

"Yeah , just thinking." She says hesitantly.

"Im free to talk to ." I say sneaking an arm around her waist.

"No it's ok ." She fake smiles . Im mentally noting it to ask her about it in the hotel room.

"Here." I say putting the sugar packet into the tea .

"I don't think I can Lucas," she whispers , her voice barely audible .

"Amore , look at me ." She meets my eyes .

"You don't have to finish it . You don't even have to take a big bite . But let's try , together , okay?"

She hesitates . "What if... what if I mess it all up again and get fat?"

I shook my head gently . " U are always perfect in my eyes . Fuck what the people think , they think stupid . You've got me and I've got endless patience."

Slowly , she picked up the sandwich and took the smallest bite . It wasn't perfect , but I smiled like she'd conquered the world .

"There u go ," I say softly . " One bite at a time."

She didn't finish the sandwich but she could eat half , and I was proud of her . We decided to go watch a horror movie .

By the time we stepped into the cinema , the buttery smell of popcorn hit me like a wave , and I couldn't help glancing over at her .

She had this nervous little smile on her face , the one she used when she was trying to act braver than she felt.

"You're sure you're ready for this ?" I ask , nudging her shoulder . "Horror movies aren't exactly ... chill."

She shot me a mocking glare , her lips slightly twitching at the corners .

"I can handle it," she says , her voice full of fake confidence .

"I promise I'll protect you from all the creepy ghosts and chainsaw-wiwlding maniacs." I joke.

The theater was dim and buzzing with quiet chatter .

As we found our seats and the previews rolled , I leaned in closer. " If it gets too scary , you can just bury your face in my shoulder."

"Lucas," she says with a small huff and rolling her eyes , " I'll be fine ."

I nodded, pretending to believe her , but it didn't take long for the movie to prove me right .

The first eerie scene had her flinching slightly , and by the time real scare hit - a loud , screeching sound and something jumping at the screen - she gasped and grabbed my arm without thinking .

I tried not to laugh , putting my arm around her shoulder , letting her rest her head on my chest .

"Told u I'd protect you," I whispered .

"I'm not scared ," she says , even though her fingers were practically digging into my abdomen .

I squeeze her shoulder gently .

"It's ok to be scared , princess . I've got you . Always from now on."

"Thank you," she whispered , and there was something in her voice that made my chest tighten , like I'd just been handed something fragile and precious.

Before I could answer , she leans and kisses me . It was soft , like the other kisses we shared , but they always made my heart race .

I kissed her back , not wanting to let go but we had to because the movie was still going .

When she pulled away , her cheeks were flushed , and she looked almost shy . I couldn't help but smile , threading my fingers through hers and resting our joined hands on my lap .

"Now," I saud , keeping my voice low , "I've got one more reason to love horror movies."

She rolled her eyes , but there was a smile playing at her lips , the kind of smile that stayed with her the rest of the movie .

Every time another scare came , she squeezed my hand a little tighter . And each time , I squeezed back , silently letting her know I wasn't going anywhere.