I love him but I hate me

14

The late afternoon sun poured through the massive windows of our penthouse, setting everything aglow in shades of gold and amber. I stretched lazily on the couch, my book resting in my lap. The words on the page blurred as I absentmindedly traced the edge of the cover, distracted by the rhythmic hum of the city below and, more importantly, by Lucas.

He was leaning against the kitchen island, sipping a cup of coffee, the sleeves of his gray t-shirt pushed up just enough to reveal the strong lines of his forearms. His brown eyes flicked to me, catching me staring. A slow, knowing smile spread across his face, making my cheeks warm.

"You're going to burn a hole in that book with the way you're staring at it," he teased, setting his mug down and making his way over to me.

"I wasn't staring," I said quickly, though I knew I wasn't convincing anyone.

He raised an eyebrow, plopping down beside me on the couch. "Sure you weren't."

Before I could argue, Elijah's voice echoed from the foyer. "You two are really staying in?"

"Yes," I called back.

"You're boring!" Elijah shot back, though his tone was more amused than anything.

Eve appeared in the doorway, her bag slung over her shoulder. "Please don't destroy the place while we're gone, and don't fight or shit."

"No promises," Lucas quipped, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Don't encourage him," Eve said, rolling her eyes as she tugged on Elijah's arm. "Come on. Let's go ."

The door clicked shut behind them, leaving a blissful silence in their wake. I let out a sigh of relief, leaning further into Lucas.

"Finally," he murmured, his arm slipping around my shoulders. "Peace and quiet . And just us two."

I smiled, closing my book and setting it aside. "It's nice, isn't it?"

He tilted his head to look at me, his brown eyes warm and full of affection. "It's perfect, princess."

The golden hour light wrapped us in a kind of cocoon, the world outside fading into a distant hum. Lucas shifted slightly, pulling me closer until I was tucked against his chest. His hand rested lightly on my shoulder, his fingers drawing small, absentminded circles that sent shivers up my spine.

"What were you reading?" he asked, his voice soft.

I glanced at the book on the table, biting my lip. "Just... a romance novel. It's not a big deal."

His lips twitched into a grin. "A romance novel? Like the dramatic kind?"

"Maybe," I said, shooting him a mock glare.

He leaned back, resting his head against the couch cushions. "How dramatic are we talking? Star-crossed lovers? Secret affairs? Over-the-top confessions in the rain?"

"Stop," I said, laughing despite myself. "You're making it sound ridiculous."

"Hey, I'm not judging. I'm just curious."

"You'd make fun of it."

"I'd never make fun of something you like, amore," he said, his voice dripping with mock sincerity.

"Sure, Lucas."

He smirked, reaching for the book before I could stop him. "Let me see for myself."

"Lucas, no!" I protested, trying to grab it, but he held it just out of reach.

"Relax, princess," he said, flipping to the page I'd been reading. "I'll only read the good parts."

"That's the problem," I muttered, burying my face in my hands.

"'Her heart raced as he stepped closer,'" he began, his voice overly dramatic, "'his hands cradling her face like she was something precious, something irreplaceable.'"

"Lucas, stop!" I groaned, swatting at him with a pillow.

He caught the pillow easily, laughing. "'She looked up at him, her eyes wide with fear and longing, and he whispered—'"

"That's it," I said, lunging for the book.

He dodged effortlessly, tossing the pillow aside. "Okay, okay, I'm done," he said, laughing as he set the book on the coffee table.

I glared at him, my cheeks burning. "You're impossible."

"And you're adorable," he said, his grin softening into something more genuine.

My heart skipped a beat at the warmth in his eyes. "I hate you," I muttered, though the smile tugging at my lips gave me away.

"No, you don't," he said, his voice low and certain.

Before I could argue, he leaned in, brushing a kiss against my forehead. "I love you, princess," he murmured, his lips lingering just long enough to make my chest ache in the best way.

As the evening wore on, the golden light faded into a deep, velvety blue. The city lights began to twinkle outside, casting faint reflections against the glass walls of the penthouse. Lucas and I stayed curled up on the couch, the world outside forgotten.

"This is nice," I said quietly, tracing patterns on his chest with my finger.

"What is?" he asked, his voice a soft rumble against my ear.

"Just... this. Being here with you."

He smiled, his hand moving to brush through my hair. "Yeah. It's perfect."

I tilted my head up to look at him, and he was already watching me, his brown eyes warm and steady. The light from the city outside reflected faintly in them, making them seem even deeper, like pools of melted chocolate.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked.

"You," he said simply.

I rolled my eyes, but I couldn't stop the flutter in my chest. "You're such a cliché."

"And you love it," he shot back, his lips twitching into a smirk.

I laughed softly, but I didn't deny it.

We fell into a comfortable silence, the kind that only comes when you know someone so well that words aren't always necessary. Lucas started telling me stories about his childhood, little snippets of his life before we met. His voice was low and soothing, lulling me into a peaceful haze.

"Lottie?" he said after a while, his tone quieter now.

"Mm?"

"Thanks for putting up with me."

I frowned, tilting my head to look at him. "I don't put up with you, Lucas. I love you."

His hand moved to cup my cheek, his thumb brushing lightly over my skin. "I don't deserve you, princess."

"Maybe not," I teased, grinning.

He laughed softly, leaning down to press a kiss to my forehead. "I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you."

My heart swelled at his words, and I nestled closer, letting the steady rhythm of his heartbeat soothe me.

Eventually, we made our way upstairs to my bedroom, the city lights twinkling like stars through the windows.

Lucas pulled me into his arms as we settled into bed, his hands tracing soothing patterns on my back. "You know, amore," he murmured, his lips brushing against my hair, "you're the best part of my day. Every day."

I looked up at him, my chest tightening at the sincerity in his eyes. "You're mine too," I whispered.

His lips curved into a soft smile, and he leaned down, capturing my lips in a kiss that was slow and tender, the kind that made time feel irrelevant.

When we finally pulled away, I rested my head against his chest, my fingers tracing the faint outline of his collarbone. "You're my everything, Lucas," I said quietly.

"And you're mine, princess," he said, his voice full of quiet certainty.

The world outside continued to hum with life, but inside these walls, everything was still and perfect. I closed my eyes, letting Lucas's steady breathing and the warmth of his embrace lull me into a peaceful sleep.