@ahnjenjae 's Practical Books' Reviews [OPEN]

SPY-RAL TIES AND THE WEB OF LIES - TBWA Mystery/Thriller Category

DISCLAIMER

This review is intended to help writers level up their skills. Every comment made is done with such intentions. People who might feel offended, you're free to leave your reading anytime. In this space, only open-minded writers are accepted. Said so, let's begin this journey!

REVIEW DATE: November 5th 2024

PERSONAL COMMENT

Recommendation: Read the "PERSONAL COMMENT" after seeing the RATINGS section in this chapter to understand visually what needs to be improved.

SPY-RAL TIES AND THE WEB OF LIES book has been submitted in the Mystery/Thriller category of "The Beautiful Writer Awards" project hosted by

@HappyEndingWriter and @romance_lover16 . 

The best pick for this book would be Dystopian Science Fiction genre. This label captures the core of the setting (a dystopian city controlled by a powerful corporation) and the genre's focus on action, espionage, and high-stakes intrigue. It also encapsulates the advanced technology (genetic manipulation, covert operations, AI) and the constant tension between the protagonist's personal and professional dilemmas. While Espionage Thriller and Romantic Suspense elements are also significant, the Dystopian Science Fiction label most accurately conveys the book's genre, as it focuses on the larger, oppressive system and the high-tech espionage central to the plot.

I've carefully read the story, and the plot brims with thrilling potential, but at times, it feels like it's trying to juggle too many ambitious concepts all at once. There's espionage, genetic enhancements, rogue agents, corporate conspiracies, assassins, and high-tech warfare—all exciting elements in their own right. However, when woven together, they can make the story feel a bit overstuffed, leaving little room for each idea to breathe. To truly captivate the reader, it might help to focus on a few core elements and let those drive the narrative. This would create a sharper, more streamlined story that doesn't lose momentum in the complexity of its world. Additionally, with so many characters and subplots in play, there's a risk of things becoming muddled. Each character and plotline needs a clear, distinct purpose, but in a world so densely packed with twists and turns, some motivations might feel unclear or underdeveloped. The complexity of the universe is one of the story's strengths, but to hook the reader fully, certain areas might benefit from more attention to detail, ensuring that each character's actions align with their deeper motivations and the overall narrative arc. This focus would help sharpen the plot, deepen the characters, and ensure the story resonates with clarity and impact.

In the world of mystery and thriller writing, a humorous narrative voice can be a double-edged sword. While it may offer occasional levity or moments of sharp wit, it often risks undermining the high-stakes tension that readers crave. Mystery and thriller stories thrive on suspense, unpredictability, and a sense of danger that keeps the reader on edge. Humor, especially if it's frequent or too flippant, can dissipate that tension, making it harder for readers to invest in the serious stakes at hand. It can also make characters feel less grounded in the grim reality of the plot, detracting from the urgency or weight of their decisions and actions. In a genre where every clue and twist should feel like a high-stakes revelation, a constant barrage of humor can prevent the reader from fully immersing themselves in the dark, atmospheric world you, as a writer, want to create. Additionally, there are moments where the exposition feels a bit heavy-handed. Phrases like "As she faces the chilling Director Renfield..." could be tightened up to pack more punch without losing their impact. Some sentences come across as overly structured or repetitive, especially when you're delivering plot-heavy information. Streamlining these sections, and adopting a more minimalist approach, would allow the action and suspense to speak for themselves. It's about letting the story breathe, rather than weighing it down with too many details all at once. Finally, the setting—the dystopian city controlled by a shadowy corporation—holds great potential, but right now it feels a bit abstract. While we understand the world's basic structure, there's not enough sensory detail to immerse the reader in it. What does the city smell like? What sounds fill the air? How does the oppressive presence of the corporation affect the streets, the people, the atmosphere? These small, vivid touches would ground the reader in the world you've created, making it feel real and urgent, rather than just a backdrop to the action. Adding more texture and specificity to the setting will pull readers deeper into the story and make the stakes feel that much more immediate.