t w e n t y - s i x

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I watched my first explicit video at age of five

In fathers mobile

Of a girl, nude and with two ponytails

Doing wrong wrong things in the frame

Don't know why,

But again and again

Years went by

I grew up,

A bit messy a bit well

Kinda hating self

Waiting for the end

As More years went by

All I needed was love

I realised

Okay

So I tried loving myself

It didn't work

For the well

Of my feelings, of need and of acceptance went too deep

I couldn't fill it

So I closed the lid

Once again I tried

To make it work

For I had a life to get by

So I tried tried and tried

Opened the deep dark well of need

With an aim to fill it bit by bit

And I remember still

When I said I loved myself

It was the young girl whose video I saw when young

As she yelled and yelled

tried to escape and get away by

Out of the well.

Out of the well

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