Kismet | ENGLOT

Chapter 15

Engfa's POV:

I stood there, frozen, my heart pounding in the empty space Charlotte had left behind. I wanted to chase after her, to call out her name, but my body wouldn't listen. The intensity of the kiss, the rawness of what I'd just let slip—it all settled over me like a heavy weight. I had let my guard down, peeled away every layer I'd spent years building, and for the first time, I was fully exposed.

I'd always been careful, and controlled, keeping everything I felt neatly locked away. Emotions weren't things I shared freely; they were guarded secrets, kept even from myself sometimes. But with Charlotte, it was different. Somehow, she held the key to every feeling I'd hidden, and with one look, one vulnerable gaze, it was as if she had reached in and unlocked it all. In front of her, there was no way to keep pretending, to hide behind indifference or excuses.

I'd crossed a line I hadn't known I was capable of crossing, and now, standing here alone, I could feel the fear creeping in. What had I done? What if it was too late to fix things? Have I fallen for her? My heart was in freefall, and the vulnerability I'd fought so hard to bury was out in the open, waiting to see if she would come back or if I'd just shattered something neither of us could repair.

I could still see the regret and fear were etched deeply on her face, a storm of emotions brewing just beneath the surface right before she turned and walked away. I stood there, feeling utterly abandoned, grappling with the tumult within me. Had I crossed a line by kissing her? Was the fleeting warmth of her lips an indication of mutual feelings, or had I misread every nuance of our connection? The thought washed over me like cold water: what if she was simply being kind, and I had created an elaborate narrative from a series of innocent gestures?

I reflected on my own past, the flings, the casual encounters, and the fleeting romances that had earned me a rather infamous reputation at school. Each whispered rumour and sidelong glance served as a reminder of my history, contrasting starkly with Charlotte's enigmatic persona. She was an enigma—I could not recall ever seeing her with anyone, save for the occasional sighting with her friend Mew. What if she wasn't interested in girls at all? The possibility loomed larger, tightening around my chest. Had I made her genuinely uncomfortable? Was that why her expression had turned to one of fear?

As my mind whirled, struggling to piece together the fragments of our brief moment together, I decided I couldn't linger in uncertainty any longer. I pushed myself into motion, quickly traversing the crowded garden towards their table, and to my disappointment, Charlotte was already gone.

"Hey, Marima! Where's Charlotte?" I blurted out, skipping over the usual pleasantries, urgency colouring my voice.

Marima seemed taken aback by my abruptness. "Uh, mmm, she went home. She mentioned something about needing to attend to something important. She seemed in a hurry. Is everything okay?" Worry crept into her voice, reflecting her concern.

"Uh, yeah, everything's good," I replied, but my mind was already racing. "I'll see you around." I quickly waved goodbye to her and the others, my heart pounding as I hurried toward the car park, desperate to catch up with thoughts that felt just out of reach.

As I pulled into the driveway, the familiar crunch of stones under my tyres felt both grounding and unsettling. I swiftly parked my car, the engine's purring silence melding into the quiet evening air as I shut it off. Defiance swelled within me, propelling me out of the vehicle and toward Charlotte's front door, where I was determined to confront the swirling confusion that had haunted me.

My heart raced, raw emotions simmering just beneath the surface. I rapped my knuckles against the door with more force than I intended, the impatience spilling over in a frustrated grunt. "Char, can we talk, please?"