Kismet | ENGLOT

Chapter 35

Engfa's POV:

The apartment felt eerily quiet as we stepped inside, the door clicking shut behind us. The familiar warmth of home felt distant tonight, like it belonged to someone else, to a different life. I stood frozen just inside the entryway, my hands clenched at my sides, my heart pounding relentlessly. My mind was spinning, replaying the scene from earlier over and over, my chest tightening with every loop.

I couldn't shake it—the face, the way she moved, the fleeting moment where hope had flared so brightly in my chest it nearly consumed me. It felt like her. It was her. But how could it be?

Chompu's voice broke through my thoughts, soft and careful. "Engfa," she said, gently taking my hand. "Come on, let's sit down."

I let her guide me to the couch, my legs feeling like lead. I sank into the cushions, leaning forward with my elbows on my knees, my hands clasped tightly together. My breathing was shallow, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make sense of what had just happened.

Chompu sat beside me, her eyes scanning my face, concern etched into every line of her expression. She placed a hand on my back, her touch warm but tentative. "Talk to me," she said softly. "What happened back there?"

I tried to speak, but my throat felt raw, as if the words had been clawing their way up since the moment I started running. Finally, I managed, "I... I thought I saw her."

Chompu's hand stilled on my back, and her brows furrowed slightly. "You thought you saw who?" she asked, though I could see in her eyes that she already knew.

I swallowed hard, my voice trembling as I said, "Her. I thought it was her. I swear, Chompu, it was her. I wasn't imagining it."

Her hand moved to mine, her fingers curling around it tightly. "Engfa..." she began, her voice steady but gentle, "are you sure it wasn't just someone who looked like her?"

"I don't know!" I snapped, the words bursting out of me. I immediately regretted my tone, but I couldn't stop the flood of emotions. "I don't know what I saw. But it felt real. It felt so real."

The tears that had been threatening since the moment I lost her in the crowd finally spilled over. My hands flew to my hair, clutching at it as if I could somehow pull myself together. "And then she was gone," I said, my voice breaking. "Just like that. Gone again. And now I'm sitting here wondering if I've lost my mind, if it was a ghost, or just... some cruel trick of the universe."

Chompu didn't flinch at my outburst. Instead, she leaned closer, her voice soft and steady. "It's not your mind playing tricks on you," she said. "It's your heart. You've carried her with you for so long. It's natural to see her in places where she isn't."

"But it felt like her!" I cried, my sobs overtaking me. "It felt like she was right there, Chompu. Right there. And then... she wasn't."

Chompu shifted closer, her arms wrapping around me. "Maybe it was someone who reminded you of her," she said. "Or maybe it's your way of holding on to her, keeping her close even though she's gone."

I shook my head, the sobs wracking my body as I buried my face in my hands. "But what if it was her?" I whispered, my voice trembling. "What if—" I stopped myself, the words too painful to finish. I straightened, my shoulders slumping as I whispered, "No. It can't be. She's gone. She's been gone for years."

The weight of saying it aloud crushed me, and the tears came harder. I couldn't stop them, couldn't stop the ache in my chest from spreading through every part of me. Chompu pulled me closer, her hand stroking my back in soothing circles as I cried into her shoulder.