Today, it has happened. The day I feared would come. The day I kept trying to push away, to never let happen. Today, I finally asked of him what I have asked before too, and today, he finally gave me the answer he's wanted to give all this time: "I'm done being all understanding about everything all the goddamn time".
[5:00 PM, 11/10/2024]: naraz ho kia?[5:00 PM, 11/10/2024] : ya busy ho bas[5:04 PM, 11/10/2024]: Naraz[5:06 PM, 11/10/2024]: Can we stop talking until the convocation at least?[5:06 PM, 11/10/2024]: ???[5:06 PM, 11/10/2024]: what?[5:06 PM, 11/10/2024]: kis cheez pe naraz ho 🥲[5:07 PM, 11/10/2024]: you don't want to talk to me at all till the 7th of December?[5:23 PM, 11/10/2024]: It's a lot of things[5:24 PM, 11/10/2024]: I think we should stop talking until 7th of December at least, yeah[5:28 PM, 11/10/2024]: okay[5:28 PM, 11/10/2024]: see ya[5:29 PM, 11/10/2024]: Goodbye[5:30 PM, 11/10/2024]: wese kyun[5:31 PM, 11/10/2024]: ?[5:35 PM, 11/10/2024]: It's better than continuing to try to make conversation despite the narazgi[5:35 PM, 11/10/2024]: better? or easier?[5:36 PM, 11/10/2024]: narazgi kis baat ki hai?[5:36 PM, 11/10/2024]: kal tak tou sab theek tha?[5:37 PM, 11/10/2024]: narazgi khatam karne ki cheez hai, dil mein leke beth jaane ki aur 3 haftay tak address na karne ki cheez nahi hai[5:37 PM, 11/10/2024]: but khair you do what you want[5:39 PM, 11/10/2024]: Better. If you think no longer talking to someone you love is easier then we have different ideas about a lot more things than we realize.👇[5:39 PM, 11/10/2024]: ^[5:40 PM, 11/10/2024]: I don't see how it's better, I think you're taking the easy way out by refusing to address what's making you naraz[5:41 PM, 11/10/2024]: Sirf address karna kaafi nahin hota. Jub address karnay say koi faida nahin hota hai to phir narazgi samajh aajaana chahiyay permanent he rahay gi. Doori ikhtiyaar karna he behtar hota hai bajayay kisi kay saamnay khushi ka facade lay kar ghoomna[5:41 PM, 11/10/2024]: I don't have a lot to do today, and you're someone I care deeply about, so if you want to tell me about ive done that's made you naraz, I'm here[5:41 PM, 11/10/2024]: Yeah[5:42 PM, 11/10/2024]: bhai kis baat pe naraz ho??? kia hua hai aesa kia kardia meine?[5:42 PM, 11/10/2024]: Okay.[5:43 PM, 11/10/2024]: Thanks for being there, but I'm good[5:43 PM, 11/10/2024]: kal raat ko batana bhool gaya tha ke match pe jaunga, nikalte waqt batana bhool gaya tha, iske illawa tou idk kia baat hai[5:43 PM, 11/10/2024]: you know what[5:43 PM, 11/10/2024]: fine[5:44 PM, 11/10/2024]: I'm done being all understanding about everything all the goddamn time[5:44 PM, 11/10/2024]: you want to be upfront about what's made you upset, be my guest, you don't, I guess you won't talk to me till the 7th.[5:44 PM, 11/10/2024]: .[5:45 PM, 11/10/2024]: .
There has never been a conversation that could have hurt more... for all he thinks, I'm the bad guy. Over emotional, complicated, always angry, shutting him out, asking for space out of anger and what not. The fact that he even thinks all this... I can't even understand how or why or just... how can you love someone so much with them not even having the mental awareness of what in the world is going on around them?
I'm so putting a note in the notebook...
I love this man. I fell in love with this man. I fell in love with everything about him, head over heels. He read my stories the first time we talked. He read all of them. And now, he has fallen out of love. And I can't see him ever loving me again... I don't see how we come back from this, 7th December or not... And yet I leave this here, as the same girl who wrote all those stories that he read all those years ago, as a letter that will maybe help his love find its way back to me again...
What is the point of it all if not for him?
