Claws and code

Going out in style

I tried to ignore my sadness. The hurt and the longing fluctuated. Some moments I just wanted him back, mute or with his beast in charge of his body, but I desperately wanted him back. Mum explained that the beast had known and hadn't cared, I wanted my big furry bastard back. Other moments I was hurting so bad I couldn't breathe. Whenever that happened my family held me while I quietly tried to calm my heart. When anger took over, they dragged me to the gym, after replacing the first keyboard I threw in a complete rage. I didn't eat well. I couldn't sleep without remembering every moment with him. My work became my escape and I threw myself at the hunters. I threw myself into every system that came for our help.

Peter came back six days, four hours and twenty-three minutes after Jack walked out of my life. Not that I was counting. The vampire looked drawn and sad. He explained that David had complained about the state I was in. As part of the coven, I was his responsibility too, not just the responsibility of my Alpha. To me it just showed how desperate my friend was to go outside the pack to ask for help from a vampire.

"I can wipe the memories of him, if you wish?"

"No. Because then, if I were to ever see him again, he could hurt me all over. I need to work through it."

"The Alpha pup worries. He asked me to come. Do you wish for me to remove the emotions from the memories?"

"It would be the same problem if I saw him again. I need this. Heartbreak can't be fixed, I just need time to heal."

"Your pack thinks it will never heal. You met your soul-mate. There is only going to be scraps after having felt that connection. Would you like to talk about it?"

Surprising us both, I did. I talked and talked and talked. I poured my heart out and after the tears stopped, for the first time since Jack walked away, did I feel better. I felt lighter, at peace. And finally, I smiled my first honest smile. The smile I got in return had an edge. "Your mate will only live because killing him will hurt you more. I will talk to the witches in our service and see if there is any way to put the beast in control of the man permanently. It sounds like the beast didn't want to leave you."

I threw my hands up. Frustrated again and rapidly getting angry. "He didn't! How is it possible for a beast, stuck in the body of an idiot, to be smarter than the educated human side? Goddess knows, I'd take the beast back in a heartbeat!"

Before Peter could respond, Mark bounced into the living room with Sasha and Louis. Louis grinned broadly. "Looks like you are on the market again, short stuff. WE are going out! David is holding down the systems. I will carry your laptop, so you don't feel too far removed from your territory. Sasha will get you drunk and a couple of your beta brothers will protect us all."

He flapped his hands and pretended to flip his hair like a girl. "Biotch, we gonna get ya a drunk rebound! Get your pretty, little ass dressed for a party!"

Sasha dragged me away and handed me the skimpiest dress I owned with a pair of comfy but very high-heeled pumps. Peter drove his own car with two other vamps I'd already met, saying they were coming to protect me and my family. As if three beta wolves and an enforcer couldn't do the job. Louis flirted and joked the whole time, while Mark and two of our younger brothers remained mostly silent. The Benedicts would always be my first true link to the pack.

We went to dinner. They kept my mind on everything other than my mate. We hit a bar and then they took me to a no-humans-allowed bar. The only humans who went to these places were claimed by sups and aware of what they walked into. The booze was starting to hit me while I danced with Louis and one of the Vamps Peter had brought along.

It was early in the morning and I had finally managed to forget my mate for a while when I felt eyes on me. It wasn't a bad feeling though, it was enough to cut through my haze. Then I saw him. He was standing against the wall, near the exit. Staring right at me. He wasn't hiding that the beast was in control when he started moving. Louis recognised him and immediately started to steer me to the VIP section that Peter had claimed.