Addicted To You- Billie Eilish Fanfic

addict

Rio's pov-

Fuck, why was I so dumb as to do the drugs right in the middle of the bathroom? I blew the rest off and grabbed my bag. I looked at our table and saw Billie was gone. I walked outside and her car was gone too. What the fuck? No way she just left me here. 

I called her phone and it immediately went to voicemail. Did she fucking block me??

I called my mom and asked her to come pick me up. After her whining and being all pressed she finally pulled up and took me home. 

time skip-

I lay in my bed wondering if Billie would ever talk to me again. I really hoped so because I couldn't lose her. I needed her. We'd only been dating a week and I already managed to fuck it up. 

I went to my bathroom and grabbed my bottle of pills. 3 more. I put it back. I had to use them sparingly. I heard my phone ring and ran to my bed to see who it was. It was Billie. I answered right away. 

"Billie I'm so fucking sorry. I wanted tell you..I just didn't know how, I didn't wanna fuck everything up, I'm sor-"

"Meet me at the picnic table under the tree at the park in 20 minutes." 

She said dryly and hung up.

Shit. I think I really fucked it up this time.

I ran to my closet and grabbed a black bubble coat to put overtop my gray dress, changed my shoes out for a pair of black Ugg's and grabbed my phone. 

"I'm going out mom. I'll be back!" 

"I ain't picking you up again"

I slammed the door. 

When I'm anxious I bite my nails. I walked fast looking at my phone every now and then to see if Billie texted. She didn't. I peeled the skin back on my fingers and tasted blood. Shit. I pulled up the sleeve of my coat and started digging my thumb nail hard across the inside of my forearm. I do that a lot when I'm nervous. I just didn't want Billie to leave me. I was so fucking scared. If I lost her...I didn't even wanna think about it. 

I finally arrived at the park and saw Billie sitting at the table. She had on a black hoodie with the hood over her head and gray sweat pants on. She was on her phone.

I walked over to her and sat on the other side. 

"Billie I am so sorry.''

''Why didn't you tell me?''

''I wanted to I'm serious I just didn't know how to tell you without making it into a huge thing"

"It is a huge fucking thing. I told you how I feel about people who drink or do drugs. I told you how my best friend fucking died from that shit. You know it scares me and you didn't bother to even tell me."

She looked so sad and it was all my fucking fault. 

"Billie. I'm really sorry. I've been doing drugs for awhile now and I only do them because I have really bad anxiety  and they help me deal with myself. Because I really fucking hate myself. There the only thing that stops me from wanting to kill myself."

"Where you on something the night we met?"

I was on something the night we met. Oxycontin.

"Yeah.."

She shook her head. "I fucking knew it dude. Your an addict. You don't like me. You like the way you felt around me because you were high and associated that feeling with me. It's not me it was drugs." 

I started crying because I had thought about that. But there had been days we hung out when I wasn't high and I loved every second of them. 

"Billie that's not true at all. I've hung out with you when I wasn't high. I actually like you, and I think I might be falling in love with you."

She looked at me searching my face. "You love me?"

"I think I do. I've never felt this way about anyone. It's not just the drugs. It's you. I love you Billie." 

She stood up and sat beside me on the other side of the table grabbing my hand. 

"I'm sorry I left you. I love you to and I got so scared when I saw you doing that in the bathroom. I don't wanna lose you. I cant afford to love someone who isn't dying by mistake." 

"I'm sorry I scared you and I'm sorry I didn't tell you. It's gonna be hard but I'm gonna try to get sober for you. Because I love you and I don't want you to leave me." 

She looked up at me and I saw her icy blue eyes were watery. She kissed my lips and whispered a thank you.

"Can I sleep with you at your place tonight?" She asked me.

"Of course you can baby"