Deans pov
Baby's backseat
February
The night air was cool against my heated skin as I lay in the backseat of the Impala, my heart still racing from the intense connection I'd just shared with Sheva. I stared at the ceiling, the familiar contours feeling oddly distant. The events of the night had been nothing short of extraordinary, and yet now, in the quiet aftermath, a surge of conflicting emotions clawed at me.
"Dean?" Her soft voice broke through my spiraling thoughts. Sheva propped herself up on one elbow, her messy curls framing her face, her eyes searching mine. "You okay?"
I swallowed hard, my throat feeling dry. "Yeah, I'm..." I paused, struggling to find the right words. "I'm just processing, I guess."
Sheva's expression softened, and she leaned in, her lips brushing my forehead gently. "It was intense, I know. But it was good, right?"
"Yeah, it was good." My voice came out low, and I couldn't look away from her. "More than good."
"Then what's bothering you?" She asked, concern etching lines on her brow. "You can talk to me, Dean. You know that."
I sighed, fingers tracing the stitching on the leather seat. "It's just... I've never felt this way before. I mean, I've had my fair share of sexual encounters, but this..." I struggled to articulate the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside me, like trying to catch smoke with my bare hands.
"This feels different?" Sheva finished for me, her voice gentle and understanding. "Because it is. We've always had this connection, Dean. But tonight, it's different because you're leaving me soon."
"Yeah." I nodded, the memory of our passionate embrace flooding my mind. "I've never let anyone take control like that. I mean, I'm usually the one calling the shots, but with you..."
"You trust me." She said, her voice steady. "And I trust you, Dean. What we have is special, and it's okay to explore that."
A rush of relief washed over me, but it mingled with a vulnerability I wasn't used to feeling. "I guess I'm just not sure how to navigate these feelings."
"Nothing will change. You'll go about your business and come back when you can." She admitted, and I could see the hope in her eyes, even as it fought against her own fears.
"But what if I do want it to change?" I blurted out, shocked at my own admission. "I mean, I care about you, Sheva. More than I probably should."
Her breath caught, and for a moment, she was silent, her eyes locked with mine. "I care about you too, Dean. More than I'd like to admit."
My heart hammered in my chest, a wild rhythm echoing the chaos in my mind. I reached out, fingers tangling with hers, trying to anchor myself in this moment. "I don't want to lose what we have," I said, my voice low and earnest. "I just... I want more, but I'm scared."
Sheva shook her head, her curls bouncing with the movement. "My love, what we have is real, and it's powerful. But we also have a choice. We can decide how this affects us going forward. What are you scared of? It's worked for us thus far?"
"I'm scared of getting hurt. Of messing up what we have. I mean, I'm a hunter, Sheva. Our lives are complicated enough. You're not even supposed to be in this universe. How would fate decide if this was right or not? What if we're just making things worse? I mean, the sex is fucking wonderful, but we break so many natural laws by doing so." I went on, my voice rising with the weight of my fears.
"I know." Her voice was calm, steadying me. "But sometimes, the best things in life are worth the risk. And I think what we have is worth it, Dean."
I felt a surge of emotion, a mix of fear and desire swirling within me. "I want to believe that. I want to believe we can have more."
