Khathus POV
(one month later...)
This past month has been taxing emotionally. Being babied is not a nice thing especially being a man like me. I don't like asking for help at all. Now imagine being cared for hand and foot literally. Well all I can say physical therapy is going good. Zinhle started going back to work because all her leave days are done and apparently she's tired of my attitude. So I'm left alone here at home with the housekeeper Aus'Busi she is a middle aged women who my mom suggested. And I forgot to mention that my shoulder is fully healed well almost. I can't move it that much but I can at least use it. My leg on the other hand it's a different story.
I'm currently listening to Father Time by Kendrick Lamar in my office catching up on work because I am so behind thanks to the Celes. As I was working I hear a light knock on my office door. I see it's Aus'Busi she tells me my father is here to see me. for me this is odd because he never visits me because we have a strained relationship. Not my doing by the way.
I took my crutches and make my way to the living room and sat on the couch across my father. I greet him he greets me back. Then Aus'Busi comes with juice and snacks then leaves us alone. Then the silence is thick while the TV is on playing the news channel. Then he breaks the silence.
He sighs "my son, I am sorry." He says starting off and I just look at him shook, "I know I haven't been the greatest father to you. Nothing I can say will justify my actions. When your mom told me that she was pregnant to say I was over the moon was an understatement, but then I was nervous because I didn't want to be a father the way my father was to me. he was barely present and he was never proud of me." he says look down at his juice, "then in my teen years I went loss, doing drugs, sleeping around but I always made sure to come back with distinctions. But he would always focus on the negatives. He was like that to my siblings too. Even my mom. After high school I went uni and I told myself I am going to make situation better for my siblings and parents. And before I could do it he passed on. He died before I could build him a home. I never heard him say that he was proud of me. but that pushed me to build my mom a house before passed away. And that house is the house we live in at venda today." He says pouring himself juice, but this is a side I have never seen in my father before. He looks vulnerable wow.
"why treat me the same way he treated you?" I ask
He sighs "because I started seeing myself in you and that scared me. at first I was nervous to mess up so I stayed away, but I saw that I did more damage. When I realised I had pushed you so far away from me I didn't know how to get back to you my son. I am trying to mend my relationship with all my children one by one and the only one I haven't fixed thing with is the person who made me a father." he says looking at me
"Zwino ho tshinyuka mini?(what changed now)" I ask confused
"Musi musadzi wau a tshi mmbidza nga duvha leo a tshi lila, a tshi mmbudza uri wo vha u na khombo ya mutakalo(when your wife called me that day crying telling me you were in a accident...) my heart stopped beating. Hearing that your son has been in a accident and you don't know weather he will live or not. Ndi hone ndo zwi vhona uri ndi fanela u shandula ndila dzanga sa khotsi au. (That is when I knew I had to change my ways as you father.) my son I am sorry for all the pain I caused you." He says looking down now not letting me see his true emotions.
"dad," I call out to him. Whats crazy is that he always made it to our school events, soccer games, my sisters dance competitions, our award ceremonies. He was always there but never there with us if you know what I mean. But he never said he was proud of us not once. He only spoke to us unless we did something wrong. "Ni a zwi divha uri zwo vha zwi zwivhi hani u aluwa na khotsi ane a si vhuye a ri amba uri u a takalela zwine ra ita?( Do you know how painful it was growing up with a father who never said he was proud of us?) having us question weather or not you love us. I mean you attented our events byt hearing those words could have made a difference in our lives. But the only bright side is that it made into the man that I am today" I say to him.
"Ndi khou humbela pfarelo, ndi hangwele. Ndiphe tshibuli tsha u vhuya ndi doba, mwananga, ndi khou humbela.( I'm sorry, please forgive me. Give me another chance, my son, please)" he says. I sigh before I answer tbh I never thought this man was going to apologize. Infact I thought he was going die hating me but I guess it takes a huge life tragedy for people to realise their mistakes.
"Khotsi, ndo livhuwa. A ni zwi divhi uri ndo lindela tshifhinga tshilapfu hani u pfa ni tshi amba zwenezwo. Ndo livhuwa.( Dad, thank you. You don't know how long I have waited to hear you say that. Thank you.) but it will take a while for me to forget. But I am willing to have a relationship with you." I have forgiven him but one thing I know for sure is that I will never repeat this parenting mistake I may not be perfect but I will not be a parent like my grandfather and father I can assure everyone that.
"where us my daughter-in-law?" my dad asked
"she went to work, this accident is putting a rift between us." I say "we are always fighting and it's because of me and I know she is getting tired of me and my attitude. So she taking a break from me for a while." I say watching the TV
"my son don't let this accident and your ego stop you from receiving care and love from you wife. accept before it's gone. She's really good for you there is a reason why you guys were meant to get married." My dad says
"what do you mean by that?" I ask
" don't worry my son you will find out sooner or later." He says.
We sit watching TV and catching up man I love this so much. But then my dad says he has to leave and now I'm back in this house with Aus'Busi. I think it's time I plan Zinhle her dream proposal since our wedding is fast approaching.
this chapter hits home for me
(not edited)
comment
vote
share
xoxo
