For Him, I Stayed

Chapter 9: "The Weight of Silence"

Note:
"So uhm... Enjoy :D"

Warning:
LITERAL DRAMAAAAAAAAAAA
_______________________________________

Chapter 9: "The Weight of Silence"

Ray didn't expect the weight of his own words to hit so hard. The moment he spoke, it felt like the world had shifted, and there was no turning back. His hand resting on top of Matthew's felt like the only real thing in the room, grounding him in a way he hadn't expected. Matthew's eyes were searching him, his expression a mix of determination and something deeper, something Ray wasn't sure he was ready to face.

For a moment, neither of them spoke. The room was quiet, save for the soft hum of the air conditioning and the distant noise of students moving through the hallways. Ray could feel his pulse pounding in his ears, the anxiety building like a storm inside him. This was it. This was where things were either going to change or implode.

Matthew seemed to sense it too, and after what felt like an eternity, he finally broke the silence.

"You really trust me?" he asked softly, his voice barely above a whisper. His hand was still under Ray's, warm and steady.

Ray nodded, but the knot in his chest tightened. "I think I do. Or... I want to."

Matthew gave him a small smile, though there was an undeniable sadness in his eyes. "Good. Because you're not alone in this, Ray. I'm not going anywhere."

The words should have brought Ray some comfort, but instead, they only amplified the growing weight inside his chest. He had heard those kinds of things before-"I won't leave you," "I'll always be here." But this was different. This was Matthew, who had always been there, yet somehow felt like he was becoming more distant, despite their closeness.

Ray had always been afraid of being vulnerable, of letting someone see the cracks in his armor. With Matthew, it was no different. But now, for the first time, he felt like his secrets were starting to slip out of his grasp. What was he supposed to do with that?

The sound of footsteps echoed in the hallway outside the music room, breaking the spell between them. Ray quickly pulled his hand away, feeling a rush of heat flood his face. He couldn't look at Matthew. Not yet. Not when everything felt like it was spiraling so quickly.

"I-I should go," Ray stammered, standing up abruptly, his heart racing. He didn't want to leave, but he couldn't stay. Not like this. Not when everything was hanging by a thread.

Matthew stood up with him, his expression unreadable. "Ray-"

"I need some time to think, okay?" Ray interrupted, his voice shaky. "I'll see you tomorrow." He didn't give Matthew a chance to respond, turning quickly and walking out of the music room, his mind spinning in a thousand directions.

---

The rest of the day was a blur. Ray couldn't focus on anything. His thoughts were consumed by Matthew, by the weight of the words that had been said and left unsaid. What had he done? He had told Matthew the truth-well, part of it-but now he was second-guessing himself. He couldn't stop wondering if he had just made everything worse.

When the bell rang for the final class of the day, Ray packed his things mechanically, barely registering the chatter around him. His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he pulled it out, expecting a message from his brother, Skyler, or maybe even Claire, but his heart skipped a beat when he saw it was from Matthew.

Matthew: Can we talk after school? Please?

Ray stared at the message for a long moment, the words hanging in front of him like a challenge. He knew that this conversation was coming-it had to be-but he wasn't ready. He wasn't sure he'd ever be ready.

He typed back a response before he could talk himself out of it.

Ray: I don't know if I'm ready, Matt. I need some space.

There. That was it. He hit send before his thoughts could betray him, but as soon as the message left his phone, Ray felt a familiar ache in his chest. He hadn't meant to be harsh, but the idea of facing Matthew after everything that had happened was terrifying. He couldn't deal with it-not today, at least.

---

Later that evening, as Ray sat at the kitchen table, his thoughts were miles away. He had a hard time focusing on his homework, his mind too consumed with the growing distance between him and Matthew. But then his phone buzzed again, and this time, it wasn't a message from Matthew.

It was a call from Skyler.

Ray picked up, feeling a little relief at hearing his brother's voice. Skyler was always a grounding force for him, the older sibling who seemed to have all the answers-even when Ray couldn't seem to find any for himself.

"Hey, little bro," Skyler said, his voice warm and easygoing. "How's school going?"

Ray hesitated. "It's fine," he said quickly, trying to push his emotions down. "Everything's fine."

Skyler wasn't fooled. "You sure? I know that tone. Something's bothering you."

Ray sighed, slouching in his chair. "It's... Matthew. I don't know what to do anymore. I told him the truth last night, but now I just feel like I messed everything up."

Skyler was silent for a moment, and Ray could practically hear him thinking. Then, in that calm, steady voice of his, Skyler spoke.

"Ray, listen. I don't have all the answers, but I know one thing: you can't keep running from what you feel. If you care about him, then you need to give him a chance to show you he cares too. It's not always going to be easy, but that's part of it. You have to trust that it's worth it."

Ray's heart was pounding again, but for a different reason. Skyler's words hit him hard, reminding him that maybe he was running because he was scared of what would happen if he stopped. If he let himself care too much.

"Thanks, Sky," Ray whispered, swallowing the lump in his throat. "I'll think about it."

---

Later that night, Ray lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling, his mind racing. He could still feel the weight of Matthew's touch, the look in his eyes. And despite the fear that gripped him, something inside him refused to let go. Matthew wasn't going to give up on him. But Ray wasn't sure if he was ready to give up his walls.

He closed his eyes, letting out a shaky breath. The truth was, he didn't know what was going to happen next. All he knew was that everything had already changed. And somehow, he had to figure out how to keep moving forward-before everything he cared about slipped through his fingers.

To be continued...