“Estella… do you still talk to her?” Leo asked after a Moment of silence.
I hesitated, running my thumb along the rim of my cup. “Yes” I admitted quietly, glancing at each of them. “A little. But it’s… complicated.”
Orion’s brows furrowed, and he leaned forward, his tone serious but not unkind. “Complicated how?”
I sighed, placing the cup down and folding my hands in front of me. “She reaches out every once in a while. Mostly when she needs something. I don’t see her often, but we talk occasionally. I check in to make sure she’s... okay, I guess.”
“Okay?” Caelum echoed, his voice sharp with disbelief. “She’s still drinking, isn’t she?”
I didn’t answer right away, but my silence spoke volumes.
“She hasn’t changed much” I said finally. “Not really. But she’s still our mother. I can’t just cut her off completely.”
Nash shook his head, frustration evident in his expression. “But she hurt you, Estella. She put you through hell. Why would you even keep her in your life at all?”
“Because she’s the only parent I have left” I replied, my voice firmer than I expected.
That stopped them. I could see the guilt in their faces as the memory of our father, their father, settled over the table like a shadow.
“She wasn’t always like this” I continued softly. “Before he died... she was different. Do you remember? She used to laugh. She used to cook dinner and tell us stories. She used to care.”
Felis nodded slowly, his gaze distant. “She did” he admitted. “But after Dad…”
“She fell apart” I finished for him. “And I think a part of her never came back. I hated her for a long time, but now I just… I don’t know. I feel sorry for her.”
Leo frowned, his voice hesitant. “Do you think she blames him? For leaving, I mean?”
I thought about it for a moment. “Maybe. Or maybe she blames herself. Either way, she’s been running from it ever since. And the drinking… it’s how she copes.”
“It’s not an excuse” Orion said firmly. “We all lost him, Estella. She wasn’t the only one grieving.”
“I know” I said quietly. “But I think losing him broke her in a way it didn’t break us. She didn’t have anyone to pull her back, and by the time I was old enough to try, it was already too late.”
The table was silent for a long moment, the weight of our shared loss hanging heavily between us.
“I don’t forgive her for what she did” I said finally. “But I can’t abandon her, either. Not completely. I don’t know if that makes me weak or foolish, but it’s just… how I feel.”
“It doesn’t make you weak,” Felis said softly. “It makes you better than any of us. I don’t know if I could do what you’re doing.”
I looked at him, surprised by the sincerity in his voice.
“We all grieve in different ways” he continued. “Maybe this is your way of finding peace with her.”
“I don’t know if peace is even possible” I admitted. “But for now, I’ll keep the lines open. As long as she doesn’t try to pull me back into her chaos.”
The others nodded, reluctantly accepting my words. It wasn’t the resolution they wanted, but it was the truth.
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Teen FictionEstella's world shattered when she was six years old, after her father died in a car accident. Her mother turned into an alcoholic, and her brothers abandoned her one by one, leaving her completely alone. Now, 12 years later, her brothers are back a...
