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Chapter 17

“Estella, can I ask you something? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.” Orion asked.

I glanced up from my coffee, his tone catching my attention. “What is it?”

He hesitated for a moment before speaking. “Do you think you turned out okay? After everything?”

The question took me off guard. I looked around the table, noticing that all of my brothers were waiting for my answer. They weren’t asking to judge me they genuinely wanted to know.

I leaned back in my chair, considering my response. “Okay is a tricky word” I said finally. “I don’t think anyone comes out of what we went through completely okay. But I think I’m doing the best I can.”

Orion leaned forward, his brow furrowed. “But do you feel like you’ve had to… carry more than you should have? Because of us? Because of her?”

I sighed, swirling my coffee with the spoon. “Yes” I admitted, my voice quieter. “I had to grow up faster than I should have. I had to learn how to survive on my own, how to deal with things no one should have to deal with at that age. But…” I paused, searching for the right words. “I don’t think it’s all bad. It made me stronger. More resilient. And it taught me what I want and what I don’t want for my life.”

Caelum, who had been quiet until now, spoke up. “But do you ever blame us? For leaving? For making it harder for you?”

I looked at him, his expression filled with a mix of guilt and hope. “I did” I said honestly. “For a long time. I was angry, and it was easier to blame you than to face everything else. But now… I don’t think it’s that simple. We were all just trying to survive in our own ways.”

Atlas nodded slowly. “You’re right. We all made choices, and some of them weren’t the best. But looking back, I wish we’d done things differently. I wish we’d been there for you.”

I gave him a small, understanding smile. “I know. And I think… I think I’m ready to let go of some of that anger. It doesn’t mean the past didn’t hurt, but I don’t want to carry it with me forever.”

Leo tilted his head, studying me. “Do you ever think about what things would’ve been like if Dad hadn’t died? If he was still here?”

The question hung in the air, heavy with the weight of what could never be. I nodded, my gaze dropping to the table. “All the time” I admitted. “I think about how different everything would have been. How maybe Mom wouldn’t have fallen apart, and we might have stayed together. But it doesn’t change anything. He’s gone, and we’ve had to figure out how to live without him.”

Nash spoke then, his voice quieter than usual. “He would’ve been proud of you. Of all of us, I think. But especially you. You’ve held things together in a way none of us could have.”

The sincerity in his words caught me off guard, and for a moment, I didn’t know what to say. “Thanks” I said finally, my voice barely above a whisper.

Silence settled over the table again, but this time it wasn’t heavy. It was a silence of understanding, of shared pain and quiet hope.

Orion broke it with a small smile. “So, how about we make a pact? From now on, no more disappearing. No more leaving one of us to deal with everything alone.”

I looked at him, surprised, and then glanced at the others. They all nodded, a mix of determination and regret in their expressions.

“Okay” I said, my voice steady. “No more disappearing.”

It wasn’t a solution to everything, but it was a start. And for the first time in a long while, I felt like we were finally moving forward together.