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Chapter 23

I sat behind the wheel of my car, the engine humming softly, but the noise in my head was unbearable.

The streets blurred before my eyes, but it wasn’t the rain that clouded my vision.

It was everything that had just happened the words my mother had said, the slap I hadn’t seen coming, the overwhelming sense of disappointment settling like a heavy weight around my chest.

The sting on my cheek still burned, the memory of her hand against my skin fresh, as if it had been branded into me. I drove slowly, my mind racing, but I didn’t know where to go, what to do.

Should I head back home to Noah, Austin, and Kennedy, or should I go to one of my brothers?

I took a deep breath and let the air out slowly.

"Why, Estella?" I muttered to myself, though no one was in the car to answer. "Why did you even try with her?"

I gripped the steering wheel tighter, my eyes flicking to the road, but my mind was a thousand miles away. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to make things right with my mom, but the more I tried, the more it felt like I was walking in circles. Every step forward felt like ten steps back.

I didn’t want to go home just yet. Home with Noah, Austin, and Kennedy felt safe, but the thought of talking to them, explaining what had just happened… I wasn’t ready for that.

And then there was my brothers. I could reach out to one of them. But was it fair to put that on them? They had their own lives, their own struggles. I wasn’t sure I could burden them with mine, not after everything that had happened.

I felt the weight of the choices pressing down on me. I wanted someone to tell me what to do, but there was no one. Just me. I wiped a stray tear away, still driving aimlessly, trying to figure out what came next.

I could turn around and go back to Noah. He would probably understand. Maybe he would hold me, comfort me, but the thought of it felt too overwhelming right now. I didn’t want to fall apart in front of him. Not yet.

Then again, maybe I just needed space. Time to think, to breathe, to make sense of everything. I wasn’t sure where that space was. But I wasn’t ready to go back to the chaos yet.

My phone buzzed on the passenger seat, and I glanced at it quickly, hoping it was a distraction, a reason to pull me out of my head. But it was just a text from Noah asking when I was gone be home.

I didn't answer.

Instead, I drove, feeling lost, like I was searching for something I couldn’t find, but hoping the road would lead me somewhere anywhere where I could make sense of the mess inside me.

I drove on, without a clear destination in mind, but the thought of Felis kept growing louder in my head. I knew I should call him, ask if he was even home, but somehow I felt like it wasn’t necessary.

It felt strange to trust him so easily, but somehow I knew he would understand.

Felis was the one who had always been there to catch me when we where younger.

“He’s probably home” I mumbled, changing direction and turning onto the street that led to his neighborhood.