Abomination (Ryden)

Chapter 5

I guess I don't fully believe the whole Jon/Spencer thing - because, hello, it is Jon and Spencer, and they're like, the last people you'd ever expect to get together - until the next day when Ryan and Spencer Smith himself just randomly show up at our table at lunch and sit down. Then, Spencer and Jon keep sneaking each other red-cheeked looks, and giggle at absolutely nothing every once and awhile. And, I really have no choice but to believe it.

Ryan is, of course, oblivious to the whole thing. Even when Spencer excuses himself from the table, not even ten minutes after sitting down, giving Jon a long, hard look before disappearing. A minute later, Jon's getting up too, sends me a coy smile and practically skips out of the cafeteria after Spencer. Ryan even looks at me and goes, "I kind of wish they got along."

And, I'm kind of like, how can you be so naive, Ryan Ross?

I shrug, nibble on my carrot and keep my mouth shut, because he'll figure it out eventually.

---

He does, because when I get home late Saturday afternoon from Ethan's, Ryan's sitting on my bed, and he doesn't even have to say anything, because I already know just by the look on his face.

"You know about Jon and Spencer, huh?" I ask, dropping my bag onto the end of my bed, and kick my bedroom door shut behind me.

His eyes somehow grow even more wide, and his mouth slides open a little. "You knew about it?!"

I shrug, pull off my weed soaked hoody and throw it into my hamper. "Of course I do, Jon's my best friend."

"Well, I'm Spencer's best friend and I didn't know!" he points out, face flushed and he actually really does look a little angry and hurt. "And I wouldn't have even known if I hadn't of walked in on them!" He buries his face in his hands, and I barely get out a muffled, "I just don't get it! Spencer can't be gay."

Something swells up inside of me when he says this, and I don't even know what it is, or why it is, but it hurts. "Well, he is, Ryan, so you're going to have to deal with it." I snap.

He pulls his head from his hands, and looks at me startled. "No... Brendon, I didn't mean it like that. It's just... I don't know. I always thought he was... straight. That he felt the same way as my dad. I mean, it was practically his idea to start that whole protest against the GSA..."

I shrug and sit a few inches away from Ryan on my bed. "Sometimes people in the closet do things like that. You know, to try and convince themselves they're straight or something... I really wouldn't know."

He stares straight ahead, biting down so hard on his bottom lip that I wouldn't be surprised if he drew blood. We stay quiet for a few minutes, and it's really, really making me upset, because Ryan looks so... freaked out over this. "But... but..." he finally stutters out, face white, "eighth grade..."

I look at him and frown because, what the fuck does any of this have to do with eighth grade?

He looks back at me, sending me an exasperated look, like I should know this and says, "When we kissed."

Oh, right. How could I have forgotten? It is the only hope I am ever going to get for getting Ryan after all.

"Just because you kissed him when you were thirteen doesn't mean you're gay, Ryan," I grumble out, and again, it comes out more bitter and hurt then I'd meant it to.

Of course, since he's stupid and naive, he doesn't pick it up. "I know, but, like," he starts, unsure. "But, what if it does?"

"Well, Ryan, are you?"