Abomination (Ryden)

Chapter 3

The thing is, I don't really mind going to Church. I mean, yeah, it's kind of boring, but sometimes it's not too bad, except for the Sundays that Pastor George goes off on his favorite subject -- homosexuality. And then, it just really sucks.

Sitting there for an hour, listening to some fifty year-old man - who's got a ridiculously hot son that you secretly jack off to from time to time - go on about how you're a terrible person, God hates you, you're going to hell, and all that kind of wonderful stuff, isn't exactly my idea of a fun time.

Some Sundays however, he doesn't talk about it. I like those Sundays. Those are good Sundays. Of course, this isn't one of those Sundays. Because it's me, and apparently, God does hate me.

The only good thing about the whole ordeal is that Ryan is sitting two rows in front of me, and I wind up staring at the back of his head - which I have to say, is almost as beautiful as the front, the boy's really just beautiful all over - all service tuning out the 'Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination' that I've heard so many times before. I swear, if I hear it anymore, my brain will explode into a million little pieces.

After the service, I'm standing outside in the lobby, arms crossed and pouting on the inside - and maybe even a little on the outside - because the thing about my parents is that they just never leave. It's like, their solid duty to make sure they talk to every single person in the church every single Sunday. And, I'll tell you, my church is big.

Then, to make matters worse, this really annoying girl, Faye, with stringy, blond hair, thick box glasses and teeth that go in every which direction who's had a crush on me since I was like, four, comes up to me and like, starts attempting to flirt or something.

She's all like, "Ooh, Brendon, how are you? I haven't seen you in so long! You're so attractive. Marry me. Have my spawn."

And I'm kind of like, "Fall off the face of this planet."

Okay, so, maybe it doesn't go quite like that, but it's close enough anyway.

Then, God really must hate me today, because then Ryan comes skipping over and goes, "Hey, Bren!" all enthusiastically with his big, huge 'the world is wonderful' grin.

I give him this weak smile back while thinking, does it ever end?!

Of course, it doesn't, because then he goes, "I was thinking maybe we could hang out for awhile. We could go for some pizza or something."

Right when I'm about to open my mouth and give him some excuse like I'm going to go bury my dead cat or something, my mom jumps in all crazy and chipper and goes, "Oh my god! He'd absolutely love to, Ryan!"

My head just kind of snaps at her all on it's own and I give her the death look to end all death looks. She smirks back, and bats her eyelashes just like any other respectable forty-five year old woman.

My mom officially hates my guts.

Ten minutes later, I'm sitting in the passenger seat of Ryan's little blue sedan, that's blasting Relient K, which I only know because whenever my older sister, Amanda comes home from home from college she just sits in her room and listens to it all day on full blast.

Ryan's hand is tapping against the steering wheel, and he's mouthing along to the words, and I'm wondering why the hell he wanted to hang out with me. I thought he'd like, never even look anywhere near the direction of where I was even standing anymore.

"So, the pizza place we're going to is really good," he says, still drumming along to the music, which is almost too happy it hurts. "I've been going there for forever."