𝐑𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐥𝐮𝐬 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐧𝐞-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬

The Regrettable Courtship of James Potter

Title: The Regrettable Courtship of James Potter

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The Gryffindor common room was buzzing with post-dinner energy. Lily Evans sat cross-legged on the couch, flipping through her Charms textbook, when she casually glanced at James Potter—her current nemesis-slash-rival—who was sitting far too close to Regulus Black.

She wrinkled her nose. "Your boyfriend is really disturbing, Potter."

Regulus, lounging with his head resting against James's shoulder, raised a sharp brow and gave her the most withering look he could muster. "Wow, thanks, Evans," he drawled, voice dripping with sarcasm.

James, as per usual, laughed instead of diffusing the situation. "I mean… she's not wrong, Regulus."

Regulus’s eyes narrowed dangerously. "Excuse me?"

"Well," James gestured vaguely, "you could try smiling more or, I don’t know, not sneering at people constantly."

"And you could try shutting up," Regulus replied sweetly, his tone a knife wrapped in silk.

Peter, who had been nibbling on a chocolate frog and staying silent, suddenly perked up. "I mean, if you’re looking for boyfriend material, Regulus, I could do all the stuff James never does." He leaned forward, mimicking exaggerated confidence.

James rolled his eyes, amused. "Oh, here we go."

Peter smirked and started singing dramatically.
"Up all night, I’ll never quit,
Think I’ll steal you from him.
I could be such a gentleman~"

Regulus turned to James with a long-suffering expression. "I think your friend just declared his undying love for me."

"You’re welcome to him," James said easily, ruffling his own hair. "You’d probably get along. You’re both insufferable."

"I’m sitting right here, Potter," Peter grumbled, but Regulus didn’t let him get a word in.

"Please," Regulus scoffed, standing up and brushing imaginary dust off his robes. "I’d rather date the Giant Squid. At least it knows how to mind its own business."

As Regulus stormed off, leaving a stunned silence in his wake, Lily glanced at James with a sly grin. "I told you he was disturbing."

James sighed dramatically. "Yeah, but he’s my disturber."

And somehow, James knew that, for all Regulus's dramatics, he’d forgive him in the end. Probably. Maybe. Hopefully before the next Quidditch match.

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Fin.