Eric Is Back (A Gossip Girl Novel)

11. 2009

I didn't take Jonathan back to Smachno's. I forced myself not to. I had to move on from Dan. Things hadn't worked out between us and I figured it was the universe's way of saying that our relationship wasn't meant to be.

It had been a month since Jonathan and I had started dating. In that time, I thought I would have run into Dan again. But, to my surprise, I hadn't. I wondered if he had been avoiding me.

After a few weeks of dating, Jonathan introduced me to his family. We hung out at his place from time to time. Once when we were watching a movie, his fingers started crawling across my leg. Naturally, everything tightened up from the waist-down. But as soon as it did, Dan's face appeared in my mind. He might as well have been in Jonathan's bedroom with us. Watching us... like a voyeur... the elephant in the room... ruining our moment...

I wriggled away from Jonathan, giggling nervously. In response, he just tutted and took his hand away.

"S-sorry," I squeaked.

"Don't worry about it."

Dan faded from my mind then, vanishing in a puff of smoke with a big, satisfactory smirk on his face.

*

A little while after that, I felt bad for turning down Jonathan's advances. So, I decided to go for it.

I was going to lose my virginity.

Truthfully, I had been thinking about Jonathan in that way. What he would look like naked. How he would feel sliding inside of me... pushing into me...

In and out... in and out...

But, once again, Dan would appear in my mind, shaking his head in disapproval.

It was when Mom and Rufus had gone out for dinner one night that I invited Jonathan over to the apartment. I led him to the bedroom and sat him on the bed. Turning on some sexy music, I started doing this stupid striptease, cringing, feeling ridiculous. To my relief, Jonathan started laughing and pretended to throw money at me. I took my T-shirt off and threw it on the bed. I wriggled out of my pants and kicked them across the floor, too. I was just about to pull my underwear down when my phone started buzzing on the night stand, interrupting the music.

"Oops!" I squeaked.

"What's that? Did you get a text or something?"

Jonathan handed me the phone. I opened my inbox and saw that there was a text from Mom.

It's Grandma's 80th birthday next week. We'll be throwing a BIG party at the apartment. Make sure your schedule is clear. Feel free to invite Jonathan x

My eyes popped out of my head.

A BIG party at the apartment...

Wait... did that mean Dan would be invited, too?

Surely, he had to be. I mean, Grandma was the matriarch of the family. If it wasn't for her we probably wouldn't be living in our fancy apartment right now.

"What's going on?" Jonathan asked, bringing back to the present.

"Oh, n-nothing," I stuttered. "Grandma's just having a party next week here at the apartment."

"Oh, right."

I put my phone back down on the night stand and the music came back on.

"Sorry," I said. "You probably don't want to hear about my Grandma when I'm giving you a lap dance."

Jonathan laughed. "No – not really."

Awkwardly, I tried to transition back into my striptease. But as I did, all I could think about was how Dan and I were going to be in the same room together. Cogs started turning in my brain. I could use this to my advantage. I could make Dan jealous again and give him no choice but to fall back in love with me!

"Eric?"

"Huh?"

Jonathan was waving his hands in my face. "Everything okay?"

"Y-yeah – why?"

"You zoned out," he said. "You were just staring into space."

"I was?"

"Yeah."

I looked down at my half-naked body, feeling stupid and unsexy. Dan was in the room with me again... laughing at me... telling me how silly I looked...

"I-I can't do this," I said. "I'm sorry."

And then, I was picking my jeans up off the floor, stepping into them, yanking them up my legs.

"No, wait!" Jonathan said. "W-we can take it slow!"

"I'm sorry!" I squeaked. "I-I change my mind!"

When I was fully dressed, I grabbed Jonathan hand and pulled him up from the bed. "Come on – let's go and see a movie or something!"