Eric Is Back (A Gossip Girl Novel)

15. 2007

"Eric!" Rufus called out just as I was about to leave the apartment. "Is that you, buddy?"

I cringed, glaring down at the squeaking floorboard that had blown my cover. "Yeah!" I answered back. "It's me!"

"Where you sneakin' off to, buddy?" Rufus asked.

Shrugging, I tried to be nonchalant about it. "Oh... j-just to the movie theatre."

"Who you going with?"

Urgh!

"Um... just with Dan," I admitted.

"Oh, good!" Rufus trilled. "The opera paid off then, did it?"

"Yeah, I-I guess it did."

"Hey, I'm glad you guys are hanging out. It'll give Dan a break from being with Vanessa all of the time – she can be a little intense at times. In a good way!"

"Right," I squeaked. "Well, um, I better get going..."

"Alright, Eric – enjoy your movie!"

"Thanks, Rufus!"

*

As I made my way to the movie theatre, my stomach was in knots. I mean, Rufus thought that Dan and I were just hanging out as friends. But what he didn't know was that his son and I played tonsil hockey when nobody was watching! So, what did that make us, then – lovers? Boyfriends? Or were we really just friends who happened to both make out and be stepbrothers!

By the time I found Dan by the ticket stand my head was spinning. This was all getting so complicated!

Sure enough, he was just standing there, scratching the back of his head. He looked just as nervous as I was. I mean, was this a date? A hang-out? Or was he going to surprise me and break up with me, pulling the plug on the whole thing?

But when I approached him, his face lit up and he said brightly, "Hey, Eric... I-I got your ticket for you!"

I smiled back at him. "Oh... t-thanks."

When I took the ticket from Dan, I cringed when I realised that my hand was shaking.

Sure enough, we walked to the popcorn stand in silence. As we stood in line, my heart was booming so hard that I had to excuse myself and go to the bathroom.

After locking myself in a cubicle, I hunched over the toilet, trying to stop my head from spinning. A part of me wanted Dan to chicken out and ditch me... just walk out of the movie theatre and never come back! But the other part of me wanted him to stay... and hold my hand... and kiss me... and tell me that everything was going to be okay...

As I made my way back to the popcorn stand, my stomach dropped when I saw Dan chatting to someone in the queue...

A very young and good-looking someone.

Out of nowhere, a bolt of jealousy ripped through me, making my teeth clench... making my hands tighten into fists...

But now was not the time for me to be getting angry over some stupid guy. I mean, mine and Dan's situation was already delicate enough as it is!

So, as I approached the stand, I tried my hardest to loosen my fists... control my breathing... force a smile on my face...

"Oh, Eric!" Dan said when he spotted me. "This is Nate – you two know each other, right?"

Nate turned to me with a smile on his face. I recognised him from somewhere but couldn't quite place him – I think he was one of Serena's friends.

"Um... um..."

"I'm friends with your sister," he said.

I nodded. "Yeah... right."

"Hey, what movie are you guys watching tonight? I didn't know you two hang out?"

I stared wide-eyed at Dan – a deer trapped in headlights. "Um... um..."

"Of course we do!" he jumped in. "We always do! Actually we went to the opera last night – or should I say snoozeville?"

I forced out a laugh.

"Yeah, the opera is kinda lame," Nate agreed. "Anyway, I better get back to my date. I'll catch you guys later."

"Sure thing."

"Yeah – bye."

Breaking away from us, I watched as Nate walked over to a girl with long, brown hair and gave her a kiss on her cheek. When I saw the bright pink headband sitting on top of her head like a crown I realised who it was...

Blair Waldorf...

I imagined myself wiping sweat off my forehead.

Phew! I guess Nate isn't gay, after all!

But that didn't stop the jealousy from burning inside of me... twisting my stomach into painful knots...

"A-are you friends with him or something?" I asked Dan, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Not really," he replied. "He's in my class – he came over to me."

"Oh... right."

*

When the lights went down, I kept looking over at Dan's hand, wanting to slip my own into it. Was this a date? Was it not a date? Did our relationship only go as far as kissing? And all the other stuff... the hand-holding... the cuddling... the feeding each other popcorn... was that off-limits?

Sure enough, Nate and Blair were watching the same movie as us. As they were sitting towards the front of the theatre, it was torture to watch them kiss and cuddle. I wished so badly that Dan and I could be like that.

So, when the movie was over... sure enough, I brought it up...

We were heading out of the complex when I asked, "So... um, was tonight a date?"

Dan blinked a few times, digesting the word. "Date?"

"Yeah?"

"Oh..."

Silence stretched between us. I kept scratching the back of my neck, knowing that Dan's answer was going to make or break us.

"I don't know..." he mumbled.

"Well... a-aren't we? You know..."

He just shrugged. "I-I don't know."

I huffed. I couldn't hold back my frustration any longer. "Right. Whatever."

Dan tutted. "Look, I'm sorry! This is all very... complicated."

I snorted. "No, shit."

"The truth is... I don't know what we are – or should be?"

"Can't we be boyfriends?"

Dan looked at me like I'd just slapped him. "Eric! W-we're stepbrothers! W-we can't be boyfriends! You know it'd never work!"

"Then what are we doing here?" I challenged. "At the freakin' movie theatre? Is this a date or not?"

"No – it's not!"

It was my turn to get slapped now. "Then what is it, then?"

Dan huffed. "I-I don't know! We're hanging out as friends or something?"

"Friends don't kiss each other in alleyways," I scoffed.

"Then maybe we shouldn't be friends. Maybe we shouldn't see each other any more."

My heart broke. How did this keep happening? The breaking up... the making up...

"Why do you keep messing me around like this?" I asked angrily.

"I-I don't mean to! It's just how things keep working out!"

I let out a grunt. "Look, let's just go home – I have a headache."