Eric Is Back (A Gossip Girl Novel)

14. 2009

"I'm just not... feeling it," I said to Jonathan over the phone, probably breaking his heart. I didn't have the courage to be that asshole to his face.

I was a shitty person.

But even as I dumped Jonathan over the phone, I didn't feel as bad as I thought I would.

Maybe it was because I didn't really love him... or even like him all that much.

I mean, he was so safe... so comfortable...

When I kissed him, my stomach didn't whirl in the same way it did when I kissed Dan. Sure, there'd be a few butterflies in my stomach. But after we'd kiss, I'd just zone out and start fantasizing that I was with Dan instead.

"There's someone else, isn't there?" Jonathan accused, surprising me with his cold tone.

"N-no, there's not," I lied. "It's just... I'm not ready."

"Ready for what?"

"Well, you know – sex. Like, you really want to do it and I'm just... not ready for that yet."

"Then I'll wait for you! I care about you more than I care about sex."

I huffed. "But I'm not worth waiting for," I said. "Seriously – I'm nothing special."

"Eric..." Jonathan said. "I – love – you."

Figuring the only way out of this was to break Jonathan's heart for good, I fired back with the words: "But I don't love you!"

And then, I hung up the phone, feeling as bad as I should have felt in that moment.

*

My heart was in my throat as I waited for the call to go through. Serena had looked at me suspiciously when I'd asked her for Chuck's phone number. I'd lied and told her that I was doing a report on Bass Industries. With a shrug, she gave me the number and the next thing I knew I was calling Chuck's number.

My theory was that the universe brought Dan and I together whenever we needed each other's help. So, when Damien ended mine and his relationship, somehow I wound up at Dan's loft. And when Dan ended up getting as drunk as a skunk, he somehow ended up sharing a bed with me.

So, what was more reckless than me coming home drunk or getting involved with a drug-dealer...?

Getting involved with Chuck Bass.

At Grandma's birthday party, Dan had spent most of it trying to make me jealous with Nate. But when Chuck had started taunting me, it wasn't long before Dan had swooped in and tried to protect me from him.

So, in theory, the closer I got to Chuck... the closer I got to Dan...

I just had to put my theory to the test.

My stomach dropped when the call went through. There a bit of rattling around before Chuck answered the phone with a gruff: "Hello?"

"Oh, um, Chuck?" I squeaked.

"Yes... Who's this?"

"It's, um, Eric," I answered shyly.

"Eric?"

"Yeah."

"Eric–who?"

I cleared my throat. "Um, Eric van der Woodsen."

"The Prodigal Son?"

I let out an awkward laugh. "Yeah – that's me."

"Hmm... I don't remember giving you my number," Chuck said. "Why are you calling me? Are you suing me for sexual harassment or something?"