Eric Is Back (A Gossip Girl Novel)

23. 2009

I told Dan to meet me at Damien's bench. It was very fitting. I mean, it was where it all began so it made sense for it to end here, too.

Sure enough, steam was coming out of Dan's ears when I saw him storming towards me through Central Park. I didn't care how angry he got though. I was done. There was nothing more I could do to resurrect our relationship.

"What the hell is this?" Dan demanded, flashing his phone. "Is this real?"

"Of course it's real!" I snapped. "Chuck and I had sex! You have sex with other guys... you know, with Nate and stuff, so why can't I?"

Dan huffed, raking his fingers through his hair. "Eric, you can sleep with whoever you want. But not Chuck! Not Chuck – fucking – Bass!"

"Or what?" I challenged. "What are you gonna do?"

Dan glared at me, his nostrils flaring.

"Tell me..." I pushed. "What are you gonna do? How are you gonna punish me? Lock me up in boarding school until graduation? Is that what you like? Is that what gets you off? Seeing me all locked up? Imprisoned? Or are you just a control freak? A-and you can't bear to see me live my life the way I want to live it?"

"I'll kiss you!" Dan blurted out. "I'll sleep with you! W-whatever you want just as long as this whole Chuck-thing stops!"

I let out a grunt. "Why can't you just do those things naturally without me having to twist your arm into doing them?"

"Because they're not natural, Eric! We're stepbrothers!"

"We're not related!" I fired back. "We're only family because Mom and Rufus got married. If they hadn't then we could've been together and no one would have given a flying fuck about it!"

Dan started tearing his hair out again. "Eric, I'm tired... tired of all this bullshit."

"How do you think I feel?! I spent the last two years trying to move on from you! B-but now you always keep popping up!"

"Then I won't keep 'popping up' any more! I'll leave you to it! I'll let Chuck have his way with you and keep fucking up your life!"

"Why shouldn't you, Dan?!" I shouted. "You don't love me any more – you said it yourself!"

Dan's face twisted painfully. "You think I don't love you?"

"Well, yeah... you said you didn't on the phone, remember?"

Dan's eyes flashed around the park for a second before returning back to me. "Eric... of course I love you."

My eyes widened in surprise.

Two years... Two cold, lonely years I had spent waiting for those words to come out of Dan's mouth... And here he was... sat on Damien Dalgaard's damn bench... saying those three little, stupid words...

But look what I'd had to go through in order for him to say them... A dramatic showdown with Mom and Rufus... Boarding school... Jonathan... Chuck... Cherries... Gossip Girl...

When I looked at it like that... were those three little words really worth it, after all?

"If you love me..." I said when the shock wore off, "then why do you keep breaking my heart?"

"Because we're not meant to be together," Dan answered. "The universe is against us, Eric."

"No, no!" I said, furiously shaking my head. "If the universe was against us, then... then Damien Dalgaard wouldn't have broken up with me... a-and I wouldn't have ended up going to the loft... a-and I wouldn't have kissed you when you were pulling the blankets up my nec–"