Delicate

no remorse

୭ ˚○◦˚. Theo ୭ ˚○◦˚.

"How could you hurt a little kid? I can't forget, I can't forgive you"

March 25, 2005

"What are you making for dinner, boy?" Was what I was greeted with when I stepped into the kitchen.

"Nothing for you," I shot out, dropping my schoolbag onto the floor.

My dad had been home for over a week and I was starting to lose my cool. He'd managed to give Ivory a busted lip and Mia a broken arm—thanks to me being at rugby practice. A quick trip the A & E and one cast later, I was practically homicidal.

"Lose the attitude," He huffed, "I've been busy with work, the least you could do is make your old man a meal."

"And why the hell would I do that?" I snapped, "you broke your daughter's arm last night! You come home, off your trolley on god knows what and you expect me to cook you dinner! I'm the child, you're supposed to be taking care of me!"

"I've got work to do!" He yelled, slamming his fist down on the table. "All you've got is school, and we both know with your grades you won't be doing anything special. You'll be leeching off me your whole damn life."

I held my stoic expression, refusing to give him the reaction he so desperately needed. My father was a powerful man with loads of connections and money, which only made matters worse. He seemed like a good guy from a distance but my sisters and I knew just how terrible he was.

"You're forty seven," I scoffed, "make your own damn dinner."

"The fuck did you just say to me?" He sneered, his pupils dilated so much that it made his eyes appear black.

"I said make your own fucking food," I glared at him, "I'm cooking for the girls. You're on your own."

"You're a little shit," He grumbled, standing from the table and stalking towards me, "you're lucky I don't knock some sense into you."

"I'd like to see you try," I snorted, yanking open the fridge.

I had two inches on my father as well as twenty pounds in muscle. I'd worked hard for it. After the first time he attacked Mia, I started going to the gym. I went everyday and worked on building my strength, because I knew I'd need it to protect my sisters.

"Daddy," Ivory sniffled from the doorway, "don't hurt Theo."

"Go upstairs," I demanded, not wanting to get into this tonight.

"What'd you say?" Dad sneered at my youngest sister.

"Please don't hurt him," Her bottom lip quivered and she wrapped her arms around herself.

"Ivory, I said get upstairs," My tone turned hostile.

"But-"

"No buts," I shook my head and pointed to the stairs. "Go."

"Now wait a minute," Dad demanded.

Ivory froze in place and I could feel the fear radiating off her, "yes, daddy?"

"Get your ass over here," he sneered, his black eyes turning evil.

"Ivory, go!" I pleaded.

"Listen to yer old man," dad was smiling, but it didn't meet the eyes.

I was praying Ivory would just walk away.
But of course she didn't, she loved him, and she'd do anything to please him. She wanted his love so badly that she walked over to him.

He immediately swung at her, his fist connecting with her cheek, making me spring into action.

"Tell yer fuck up of a brother to make me some damn food," He seethed as he continued his assault on my baby sister.

I yanked on his suit jacket and pulled him off her. I then shoved him into the wall and threw as many punches as I could. He managed to hit me in the stomach, but I refused to react for more than a second. I kept fighting, I kept punching, until he was on the ground, gasping for air.

I then slammed my sneaker clad foot into his head, knocking him unconscious.

"I'm sorry," Ivory was sobbing, holding her cheek with her hands.

"When Theo tells you to go upstairs, listen!" Mia shouted. "This is your fault, Ivory! You're such an eejit."

I attempted to catch my breath, but it was nearly an impossible task. I'd beaten my dad unconscious for the third time in a week and I felt nothing. Not an ounce of remorse.

I didn't know if that made me a terrible person, or if something was wrong in my head.

"Stop it," I looked to Mia, "she doesn't understand, and getting angry at her won't help."

"Why does he hurt us?" Ivory looked at me with tears in her eyes and I felt completely defeated.

"Because he's a prick," Mia answered for me.

I ran a bloodied hand through my hair and swallowed hard, "go upstairs and do your homework. I'll bring up dinner shortly."

Mia helped Ivory to her feet and led her upstairs. While I stood over my father's body and wished he would just die. It was a horrible thought, but it'd be easier with him gone.

I'd been doing a better job raising those two girls than he ever could. I then turned to the stove and began cooking dinner.

Because I had to keep my sisters safe.
That was my job.
Mine.
And no one else's.

Tears welled in my eyes and fell onto my cheeks but I batted them away. I had to be strong.

But fuck me, I missed my mammy.