Delicate

movie night

☆: *.☽ Cassandra ☆: *.☽

June 23, 2003

It had been two days since I was raped by my boyfriend. The words sounded foreign, as if they couldn't possibly be true.

I'd been avoiding him ever since, his calls and texts went unanswered and I'd made no effort to contact him. I didn't know what the hell I'd even say.

My stomach was swirling with devastation and fear. I wasn't sure what the next step was. Did I go to the Gards? Did I tell my parents? I was a fourteen year old girl for fucks sake, I had no idea what this entailed.

I was terrified. I never wanted to see Stephan ever again, but at the same time my heart ached for it to go back to how it used to be. I loved him, I longed for him but that was now tainted with hate and fear.

All of our memories were stripped of their bright, happy aura and replaced with a sinister one. I couldn't believe this was the same Stephan I'd been in love with for the past two years.

My knees were pulled to my chest, and my duvet was pulled up to my chin while salty streams of pain trailed down my cheeks.

I wanted to rewind the clock, I wanted to go back to that night and agree to have sex so that I wouldn't be feeling like this. If I'd just let him he wouldn't have had to force it upon me.

My phone was buzzing violently, texts coming in at rapid speed. I grabbed it and moved to put it on silent, my eyes lingering on the texts lighting up on screen.

Steph: why aren't you texting back?
Steph: did i do something?
Steph: cassie, what's your deal?

Ignoring the pain in my chest, I shut it to silent and threw it back onto my bedside locker. He should most definitely know what my deal is.

The pit in my stomach grew with each passing second and I prayed that I would wake up and this would all be a dream.

Because it almost felt like the beginning of the end.

☆: *.☽ Cassandra ☆: *.☽

April 15, 2005

I hated going out. School was my own personal war zone but at least I had places to hide. I couldn't say the same about the shops.

I'd decided to watch Pride & Prejudice since I was done reading Theo's copy of the book. Before I could sit down and watch it I needed snacks, preferably a pack of crisps.

I was stood staring at the different options, as people whispered and gawked at me. I knew what they were saying 'that's the girl who cried rape'. I blocked it out, pretending as if I were the only person in the world.

"Cassandra?"

I whipped my head around, locking eyes with the set of green ones I'd become accustomed to.

"You really are stalking me," I furrowed my brows.

A smile pulled at his lips, "not stalking, just looking to buy some crisps."