And I'll call you mine { Paige Bueckers}

Part 6

The day she broke my heart

Part 1

Juliet jones

It was our senior year of high school. I had already gotten my acceptance letter from UConn. And one from Yale. Yale is my dream school. It's historic. It's an Ivy League. It meets my parent's standards. And they want me. But I don't know if that's what I want.

I know that I never want to be this far from my best friend ever again. Yale is only about one hour away from UConn. But it's not UConn. It's not sleepovers. And late night ice-cream runs. And student section with her jersey on. It's not her looking at me after she makes a three pointer.

Paige is UConn. Yale is me. And my parents.

I can be me at UConn too. If anything Paige makes me more me than anyone else. Sometimes when you love someone you choose them first. So when I sent my commitment email to UConn. I choose Paige first. Over myself. Over my parents. I chose her. And I will every time.

And now I'm here. Her graduation party. Mine was earlier in the year so I'm already here for summer. But I wish I wasn't. I just don't understand why she couldn't have told me first. She didn't give me any signs.

Last summer was the same as the two summers before. Night swimming, skinny dipping. Steamy make out sessions in the backseat of my car. Her car. Anywhere we could be alone. Now I'm crying and it's not even my own party to cry at.

She didn't even tell me.

We were taking pictures when a short blonde girl ran up to her and hugged her tight. She kissed her. On the lips. "Hi you must be Juliet. It's so nice to meet you. I'm Adrianna. Paige's girlfriend." When she said it I think I physically choked.

First of all she called me by my full name. That's what she knows me as. Paige never calls me that name. Well obviously she does around this girl. My tummy started to hurt and my makeup smudged. I made up a quick excuse that we were out of ice for the coolers. When I got in my car I sat there for a minute. Trying to console myself.

I choked on my tears. And shook with my sobs. I felt stupid. And used and ugly. I felt useless. I never thought Paige would ever make me feel that way. She came running after me but I kept the door locked as she pulled on the handle and nocked on the window. Thank god for tinted windows. I never imagined seeing myself that way. So I'm glad she never had to either.

I left and didn't come back. I went to my grandmas house. And crawled into bed. After a while my grandma Juli came into my room with a plate of cookies. She never asked me what was wrong. She just kind of knew. I don't know how but she did. I stayed in bed for 3 days.

When I got up I showered and texted Paige. I pretended like nothing ever happened. It was selfish of me anyway. It was her party. Her choice. We were never anything more than friends anyway. And I was stupid to think otherwise.

She asked me if I was okay, or if I wanted to talk about it a million times. I said no each time. There was no reason for me to tell her how I felt. How I have felt. How I have loved her since I could remember. But it changed that night on my 16th birthday. I loved her in a new different way ever since then.

There was no reason to bother her when she obviously never felt the same. And even if she did at one point. It has obviously come and gone because if she did care for me. Or feel for me the same way I felt for her. She would have never made me feel that way. She would have chased after me. Showed up at my grandmas house and confronted me with all of those feelings.

In some oddly romantic way like she knows I like. We talk about 80s love confessions all the time. She would show up with a boom box and hold it above her head. She would ride up on a lawn mower like easy a. But she didn't. If she cared for me. She would have shown me. In some way. In any way.

Instead she showed me she didn't feel the same about me. She couldn't feel that way about me and Adrianna. So she dosent feel that way about me just her. And I'm okay with that. At least I know now. To move on.

I'll try at least.