Zombie survivor

[29] Simp lyfe

The wheels of the old school bus rumbled along the dirt road, dust swirling up from behind as they left Morgan's farm in a trail of clouds. The bus was packed, the group sitting wherever they could find space, some resting their heads on the windows, others stretching out in the aisles. The day's shooting practice had left everyone a little sore, each of them adjusting to the weight of the guns Morgan had them carrying.

In the middle row, Chloe was stretched out, rubbing her neck with an exaggerated sigh. She glanced sideways at Evan, who was watching her like a puppy waiting for a treat.

"Hey, Evan," she said, drawing out his name with a little grin. "My back is, like, killing me after all that shooting. Think you could give me a massage?"

Evan's face lit up like she'd just handed him a winning lottery ticket. "Oh, totally, Chloe! Anything for you!" he gushed, scooting closer on the bench seat.

He started rubbing her shoulders, his hands clumsy but enthusiastic. Chloe let out a low moan, which only encouraged Evan to dig in a little harder. He was practically vibrating with excitement, his face flushed as he worked his hands up and down her back.

"Oh my gosh, Chloe," he said, his voice breathless. "You, like, deserve the best massage ever. You're, like, the queen of this bus."

Chloe rolled her eyes but allowed a small smirk to slip through. "Yeah, I know," she said, her voice heavy with fake disinterest. "Just try not to, like, crush my spine, alright?"

"Don't worry," he said, his tone full of admiration. "I got you."

Just then, Blake cleared his throat from a few seats over. He adjusted his oversized sweater, leaning forward with a serious expression. "Chloe," he began, "I would be honored to give you a massage. I mean, as a feminist ally, I just believe in, you know, supporting the women in my life, and helping them...relax. You deserve the utmost respect and care, especially in these trying times."

Evan scowled, his hands faltering. "Uh, dude, I already got it covered."

Blake held up a hand. "No, no, Evan, you're, like, approaching this all wrong. A massage is more than just...kneading muscles. It's about acknowledging Chloe's emotional labor and ensuring she feels heard and valued."

Evan rolled his eyes. "Bro, just say you wanna give her a massage. We're in a zombie apocalypse; no one cares about your, like, feminist speech."

Blake crossed his arms, his face flushed. "Actually, they should care, Evan. This is the time to stand up for what's right, even when it's inconvenient. Supporting Chloe in this moment is just a small way to show that..."

"Alright, alright, enough," Chloe groaned, flapping a hand at them both. "You're both, like, simping so hard it's embarrassing. If you're gonna massage me, just, like, do it, and stop making it weird."

Evan shot Blake a triumphant look. "See? She doesn't want a speech; she just wants action." He resumed his massage, his hands working with renewed enthusiasm. Chloe leaned back, closing her eyes, letting out another soft sigh as she soaked up the attention.

Blake, unwilling to back down, moved to her other side, ignoring Evan's irritated glare. "I just think it's important to be...mindful," he said, placing his hands carefully on her other shoulder, starting his own massage. "I'd never want you to feel uncomfortable, Chloe. You can always tell me to stop if it's, you know...too much."

Chloe hid a smirk, letting both of them fuss over her. "Wow," she said dryly, "I feel, like, so special. It's, like, my very own simp-off."

"Oh, you are special," Evan blurted, giving her shoulder a squeeze.

"Super special," Blake added, his voice soft. "Like, we should all be lifting you up, not just...objectifying you." He shot a pointed look at Evan, who scoffed.

"Bruh," Evan said, "I'm, like, giving her a massage, not reading a self-help book."

The guys around them couldn't help but watch the show unfold, some shaking their heads, others trying to stifle laughs. Luca face-palmed, groaning. "Bro, I've never seen simping go this hard. Y'all are, like, embarrassing the entire male race right now."

"Stay jealous, bro," Evan shot back, his fingers digging into Chloe's shoulder a little more aggressively. Chloe, who was clearly enjoying every second of this attention, let out a little hum of contentment, looking as smug as a cat that had gotten into the cream.

Just then, a voice piped up from a few seats down. "Hey, Chloe," Tyler said, sliding up behind her with a grin that was all teeth. "If you're, like, looking for a massage, I could...you know, help you relax in a...special way."

He let the words hang in the air, his tone laced with a leer that made Chloe's skin crawl. She froze, shooting him a horrified look.

"Uh, no thanks, Ty," she said quickly, trying to force a polite smile. "I'm, like, good here. For real."

Tyler's grin didn't fade. "Aw, come on, don't be like that. I give, like, really good massages. Real deep tissue stuff, you know? You'll love it."

Evan shot Tyler a disgusted look. "Bro, chill. She said no."

"Yeah, dude," Blake added, his tone sharper than usual. "Respect her boundaries, alright?"

Tyler held up his hands in mock surrender. "Alright, alright, no need to get all triggered. Just sayin'."

Chloe shifted uncomfortably, pulling her shoulders away from Evan's hands, the mood officially killed. "Yeah, okay, maybe I'm, like, good on the massages for now. Thanks, guys," she muttered, crossing her arms over her chest.

There was an awkward silence, broken only by the steady hum of the bus engine. Luca finally let out a snort. "That was a whole-ass mess," he said, shaking his head. "If the zombies don't kill us, the cringe will."

Jean, who had been watching the whole thing from a few seats back, just shook his head, muttering, "Damn, simping has, like, gone next level."

Evan glanced at Chloe, his face still a bit red. "So, like...uh, if you ever need another massage..."

Chloe rolled her eyes, flicking her ponytail over her shoulder with a smirk. "Yeah, I'll, like, let you know if the urge hits," she said, her tone dripping with sarcasm.

The bus settled into a more comfortable quiet after that, with the guys side-eyeing Tyler, who had shrunk back into his seat, looking a little more subdued. Chloe stretched out, reclining back into her seat with an air of satisfaction.

As the fields outside the window turned into darkening woods, she closed her eyes, muttering, "Damn, a girl can't get a moment of peace around here," though her smirk suggested she didn't mind as much as she pretended to.

Brad, who had been watching with mild disgust, leaned over to Jean and whispered, "Remind me to never, like, simp for anyone that hard. They're acting like certified clowns."

Jean nodded in agreement. "Facts. Zombies are probably watching this like, 'Damn, humans have gotten soft.'"

The group chuckled, the tension easing a little as the conversation turned to the zombies waiting out there in the growing darkness, the reality of their situation creeping back in. The bus rolled on, carrying them farther away from the safety of the farm and deeper into the unknown.

Q: What would you do in this situation?