ʜᴇʀ ᴀꜱꜱɪꜱᴛᴀɴᴛ | ᴛᴀʀᴀꜱɪᴀ

ɴɪɴᴇᴛᴇᴇɴ

ꜰᴀɴᴛᴀꜱɪᴀ ʙᴀʀʀɪɴᴏ
ᴊᴜɴᴇ 29, 2020

laila, tab, raji, and i were currently eating breakfast at my house. well, barely taraji. she keeps excusing herself to take a phone call. i know she told me to trust her, but the calls are coming back to back, and she comes back smiling extra big. i know i shouldn't think the worst, but it's so hard when i've been thru it before, and it turned out that they were cheating on me. i don't think she would do that to me, but my insecurities always cloud my judgment.

"so, tasia wasia. how you feeling?" tab knocked me out of my thoughts.

"im ok. something just feels off is all."

"something like what?"

"i– it's probably nothing. nevermind."

"okay, well, are you guys ready to get out and have some fun?"

"yeah!" laila cheered.

just then, taraji walked back in all smiles again. i loved her smile, but i wondered who else other than me was making her smile like that.

"welcome back, raji. we were just talking about the party tonight." tab said smiling 

"party? what party?" she asked with a confused look on her face.

"the one we talked about last month and last night." i interjected.

"im still lost, but whatever. yall enjoy i have somewhere to be."

"what? where?" i asked, clearly confused by what she just said.

"somewhere with a good friend. ill make it up to you."

"raji, come on. this day is important to her."

"i know, but im sorry. next time, okay?"

"next time is years away, taraji."

"i probably won't even be here for that. let's go get dressed, laila."

tab and i looked at each other with furrowed eyebrows.

"what did you mean by that?" i asked.

"nothing."

"taraji...." is this my taraji, or did someone else take over her...

"yes?"

"what's going on?"

"nothing, why?"

"because youre not acting like yourself. that is where it all starts...." i was getting upset now.

"where what starts?"

"the lies, the affairs, everything– if you wanna be with someone else, then so be it. i couldn't care fucking less..." i threw the last dish in the sink and stormed up the stairs.

"tai tai said a bad word." laila whispered.

"i apologize, cupcake." i spoke softly and continued to my bedroom. i crawled into my bed and curled up under my pillow. i was having a mix of emotions– i started crying softly, not wanting anyone to hear me. i've always had that wall up, so i wouldn't be in this predicament, and yet here i am.

"taisa? can i come in?" i heard taraji say. i quickly wiped my face.

"sure..."

"laila and tab are away for a few, so it's just us. how you feeling?"

"stupid."

"why is that?" she slowly sat on the bed, giving me her undivided attention.

"im always quick to fall in love with people not knowing their true intentions with me. all i know is that everything sounds good whether it's true or not and that's my problem. i fall for it everytime"