Chapter 15: Pain

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On the bus ride home, all I want to do is cry. But no. Not in front of all these people. I just want to get home. Until then I'm gonna think about something else...
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It hurts. The tears are streaming before I even walk into the house so I run to my room. I grab a pillow and my bear and go into the closet. I scream as loud as I can into the pillow.

The throbbing pain in my head isn't as hurtful as the hole in my heart. It feels like someone has ripped a huge part of it. It's unbearable. Why did he leave? Will we break up? Will the distance be too much? I didn't even get to say goodbye. Will the pain ever go away?... As I lay in bed I put these questions on repeat, trying to answer them. Trying to actually have a positive outlook. I can't find one... There are no more tears. Just numbness. I can't move. I can't eat. What has he done to me? Do I love him this much? Maybe I fell to hard for him. Maybe I'm going crazy, but there are 2 things I am certain of: 1) I will not let this distance affect us. Yes he is 2 hours away, but I will not let a number overpower us. He is obviously the one for me. I feel too much for him. 2) Love wasn't something I really understood until I met him. Now I know... Terrell and I were meant to be together. Nothing will ever seperate us. No matter how low I'm feeling, he will be there to pick me up. He got me and I got us.

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