DON'T CHEAT ON ME!

CHAPTER 36: How?

Patricia's POV:

It’s been two days since Jordan and
I reconciled. It feels like a strange, fragile truce—one that hangs by a thread.

The wounds between us are still fresh, though they’ve scabbed over. He says things are different now, that he trusts me again, but I know better. I know that trust is fragile, just like the promises we’ve made to each other.

I've gained some energy, but it’s not enough. It’s not enough to escape. It’s not enough to fight for my freedom. My body feels heavy with the weight of what I’ve done, and the guilt gnaws at me. I betrayed him. I betrayed his love, his trust. And yet, he’s here, holding me in his arms again.

But for how long? How long before
I slip again, or he realizes I’m not really who he wants me to be? How long before he remembers everything I’ve done?

I get up from the bed and move quietly through the house, trying not to disturb the stillness. Jordan isn’t around. I don’t know where he’s gone. Maybe he’s out in the yard, or maybe he’s burying more bodies. I don’t ask questions anymore. Not when the answers might shatter everything.

I walk outside, the cold air cutting against my skin, and the sound of birds calling from the trees fills my ears. It’s a strange, almost peaceful morning—one that makes me think everything might be normal, if I could only pretend long enough.

But I can’t pretend. Not anymore.
Not after everything that’s happened.

As I walk down the path, trying to clear my head, I spot a guy standing at the edge of the yard. He’s in his twenties, maybe a little older, dressed in worn-out clothes. He looks lost, and the confusion in his eyes mirrors the turmoil I feel inside.

He notices me and calls out, his voice loud and desperate.

“Hey! Did you see a farmer around here? He’s been gone for almost five days.”

His tone is frantic, and for a moment, I wonder what he’s talking about. The farmer that Jordan killed.

I know who he’s referring to, but I don’t have time to answer. I don’t owe him anything. I don’t want anyone ruin my plans. Not now.

I don’t respond right away. He looks at me, waiting for an answer, but I just turn and walk away, trying to ignore him. I keep my head down, focusing on the ground beneath my feet. I can feel his gaze on my back, but I don’t look back.

“Please?”

He calls out again, his voice softer this time.

“If you know something, just tell me. Talk to me.”

The desperation in his voice gives me pause. It’s strange how someone
I don’t even know can seem so broken, so lost. But I can’t help him.
I don’t know what’s going on.

Still, something compels me to stop. It’s like a flicker of something inside me, maybe guilt, maybe curiosity.
Or maybe just the need for human connection, a break from the numbness I’ve been carrying around for so long.

I turn around and walk toward him, my steps slow and deliberate. I stop a few feet away, keeping my distance. His eyes widen a little as he sees me approach, but I keep my face neutral. I can’t afford to let him see the panic that’s building inside me. I can’t let him see how trapped I feel.

“I’m sorry but I don’t know. I haven’t seen anyone like that. Just… go.”

I try to sound firm, but there’s a tremor in my voice that betrays me.
I hate that I can’t hide it. I hate how fragile I’ve become, how easy it is to break me down.

The guy stares at me for a moment, confused. He’s clearly trying to figure me out, to gauge whether I’m telling the truth. But I don’t have the answers. I don’t know who he’s looking for, and I don’t know if it even matters anymore.

He nods, but the doubt lingers in his eyes.

“Okay, Thank you, though.”

He says finally, as if accepting the rejection.

Without another word, he turns and walks away, his footsteps fading into the distance. I stand there for a moment, watching him go, but my mind is already elsewhere.

Did he know something I didn’t?
Was there more to the farmer’s disappearance than I realized?

I shake my head. It’s not my business. I’ve done enough. I’ve already ruined enough lives, and I’m not about to let someone else’s tragedy drag me deeper into this nightmare.

As I walk back to the house, I can’t shake the feeling that something’s wrong. Something’s off, and I don’t know what it is. I keep hearing his voice in my head—his desperation, his need for answers—and I wonder if there’s something I should have said, something I missed. But I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know how to fix anything anymore.

The door to the house creaks as I push it open, and I’m met with silence. It’s the same silence I’ve been living in for days, this oppressive, suffocating quiet that never seems to end.

I go to the kitchen and sit at the table, my hands trembling slightly as I rest them on the worn wood. I stare at the empty space around me, wondering how long I can keep this up.

Should I run away? Should I escape while Jordan is still not around? My heart races at the thought, but fear grips me tightly. What if I’m making a mistake? What if there’s no way out?

The guilt of what I’ve done weighs on me, but so does the desire for freedom. Every part of me wants to leave, to find a way out of this nightmare. But then I remember how Jordan looks at me, how he’s trusted me again. Can I really betray him again? Is escaping the answer, or am
I just running from my own conscience?

How long I can keep pretending that everything’s okay when I know it’s not.

Jordan’s out there somewhere, probably thinking we’re fine, thinking that everything’s been fixed.
But I know better. Nothing’s fixed. Nothing’s ever going to be fixed.

I’m not tied up anymore but I'm still trapped here. And the worst part is,
I don’t know how to escaped.

I don’t know how to fight for him anymore.

I don't know what to do.

How?