𝐒𝐮𝐚𝐝𝐚𝐝𝐞- a nostalgic longing to be near again to something or someone that is distant or that has been loved then lost. "The love that remains."
a love between a hopeless girl and a hopeless boy.
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I sat on the edge of my bed, feeling the weight of the day pressing down on me like a heavy stone.
The events of today played over and over in my mind—Gally chasing after Xiera into the maze, and the sickening knot of worry that twisted in my stomach.
I couldn’t shake it off. What if something happened to her? The thought gnawed at me, relentless and cruel.
I had never realized just how important she was to me until now, how deeply she influenced my every thought and action.
Newt had tried to talk to me, his voice a calm presence in the storm of my thoughts, but I pushed him away.
I didn’t want to hear his reassurances; I felt like I was drowning in my own fear and anger.
“Minho, you need to eat something,” he urged, but I just shook my head, unable to focus on anything but the gnawing worry that consumed me.
I could see the concern in his eyes, but I couldn’t let him in. Not now.
Ben tried to lighten the mood, cracking jokes and telling me that Xiera would be okay, but I snapped at him.
“You don’t know anything, Ben! You didn’t see what I saw!” The anger burst forth, fueled by my fear and frustration.
I could see the hurt in his eyes, and as soon as the words left my mouth, I regretted it. “I’m sorry, man. I just— I’m scared,” I mumbled, my voice barely above a whisper.
The day dragged on, and I found myself retreating to my room, wrapping myself in the sheets like a cocoon.
I couldn’t stop the silent sobs that escaped me, each one a reminder of the doubt that haunted me. What if I couldn’t catch up to her? What if I was too late? The ‘what ifs’ tormented me, feeding my sense of weakness.
I hated feeling this way, powerless and lost.
I replayed the moment over and over in my head, the way my legs felt like lead as I tried to chase after her. I should have been faster. I should have been there for her.
The guilt was suffocating, and I couldn’t escape it. I didn’t sleep a wink that night, my mind racing with thoughts of Xiera.
Her name echoed in my head like a chant—Xiera, Xiera, Xiera.
When morning finally came, I felt like a ghost of myself.
