Forever Yours (MM)(COMPLETE)

Chapter Twenty Nine

Connor

My head's on Ethan's chest, and he's rubbing small circles on my back. "How have you been doing..?" he murmurs softly.

"I've been doing well in the program, I'm processing a lot of things I've blocked out." I admit, tracing my own shapes on his chest. "They are talking me through a lot. I don't know much when it comes to mental health so they have to explain it to me. I had a rough childhood, and I'm still learning how to navigate the memories. There's a lot, and once i know i can handle remembering them I'd love to share them with you"

"I'm ready for it all when you're ready to share, Pretty Boy. I will always be here for you" He runs his fingers through my curls, pushing them out of my face.

"I promise, I will. What's been going on at the pack house?" I ask, sitting up so I can see Ethan better.

"Well, we have about 60 extra wolves and counting seeking asylum in our pack. I guess the other neighboring packs aren't allowing them in due to population control. So they are coming to us everyday. Sometimes it's a few families. We're working on building a second pack house. It'll be beside the one we have now, and we plan to connect them"

"That's a good idea, I think. You can create more space for these wolves, and maybe even our own pack. A lot of us were forced out because we are lower class. Well, I was. Building a second pack house will offer more space for our own too."

"You never told me that" Ethan kisses my head softly. "I'm sorry"

"It's fine, not a big deal"

"They're saying the alpha of they're pack is abusive." He traces shapes all over my skin.

"What.. what are they saying?" I swallow down the lump forming in my throat. Not only am I sensitive, my kids may have gone through this abuse.

"Really bad stuff. A lot of physical stuff. I don't even want to repeat what I heard or saw." Ethan looks grossed out, to put it lightly. My mouth gets really dry, and I try to wet it but it doesn't work.

"I'm sorry you have to carry this alone" I feel sad, and lost. Maybe we're just not meant to be..

"I'm not carrying it alone. I have a really supportive family, and I have good friends. I have you. You don't need to just rely on one person for support"

"I guess. I just feel like as your mate I should provide everything you need. To be a good one, anyway"

"I can't provide you with everything you need. You're 4 hours away from me to get what you need. Do you think I'm a bad mate?"

"N-no, but it's different"

"How?"

"You pay for me to be here. You've taken on a whole family because of me. You're away from business to be here with me"

"And if you were able to do the same for me, would you?"

"Yes"

"But you can't right now"

"No"

"Wasn't a question, but no. So why blame yourself for something we can't change? We're doing the best we can with the situation we have. You're sacrificing a year, tops to heal and be a better mate and father for us for the rest of our lives. I think that's a pretty damn good trade Pretty Boy. You're our fucking hero, baby. You are incredible"

A funny thing about being mated is you have this invisible string tying you together. When he feels pride or a surge of love I can feel it. When he's hiding something I can feel it. When he's honest, I know it.

So when he says all that, I feel the truth behind his words. I feel it into my bones. "You're incredible too, you're like a super dad"

"Super dad" Ethan grins, pulling me to his body, he kisses my face all over, brushing my hair away from my face. "You know they talk about you? Ana is crazy attached. They said it's normal and she likely will feel this attachment her whole life. Zach tells everyone how strong his dad is getting help."

I bury my face in his neck to hide my small smile. I guess I've been feeling weak about being here, and feeling like it's a bad thing. But I am strong. Instead of ignoring the issue I'm taking it head on.

I am strong.

I hold on tight to Ethan, and he holds on tight to me. We stay that way for a while, until he has to leave. I hug him as tight as I can, and then when it's time I let go. I keep it together until he leaves, and then I head to my room. When I get there, I break. I fall to my knees, sobbing. I hold my head, and cry,

But then arms are wrapping around me, and holding me. Devin and Sal are here, and it reminds me of what Ethan said. Because he can't leave, and hold me, so someone has to be there to do that.

And they are, always. We stay like that for a while, until Emma takes us to a group, and then we spend the rest of the night in the movie room watching old movies.

—

I talk to Ethan the next day, and I get to see more family, and my kids. Then I'm back to my normal routine, well for now. I started medicine about two weeks ago and I think I already feel a change. I feel like my mind is clearer, like I can breathe.

I started meditating, and it's really been helping. After I do that I take a few calming breaths and then I feel ready to take on anything. It's crazy, really. I felt really hopeless at the beginning of this. I guess, I've always felt that way.

After group therapy, I head to Sal's room. She had a group this morning. She's laying on her bed, coloring in her book. She says it's boring to color all day, but since we aren't allowed cell phones, she says it's the next best thing. I knock on her door, and she looks up.

"Hey cutie pie" she gives me a cheeky grin and i shake my head. I head into her room and plop on her bed. I'm on my back beside her, and she keeps coloring. "How are you feeling? It's been a couple days since everyone left"

"It sucks. I want to be with them. With my family. They're going through a lot and I can't be there for them. It makes me feel selfish, but I can't give those kids an amazing life in the state I was in. I need to heal and be better"

"Sounds like someone got through to you" She shuts her coloring book, and turns over onto her back. "The nurse I hooked up with.. We did again last night" she turns towards me, and i can see the fear, and the excitement brewing there.

"You like her?"

"I think so. She's.. Sweet. Kind. She cares. Been a while since someone cared about me. Besides you and Dev, of course" she laces our fingers, and squeezes them. "I'll figure it out, just going to take time i suppose"

"Time heals all, and all that shit"

"And all that shit" she whispers, and we lay there for a while. It's comforting to be around someone who understands you, but it's nothing compared to being with Ethan. I can't wait to go home. 

.....

I can't wait for him to go home and see how everything will work out there. We have about 11 chapters until it's over!!

I love the moments Ethan and Connor share, I loved writing this story and I can't wait to see how it ends!

Check out my patreon for early access to this story and many others! 

ANNOUNCEMENT!

There was a plan for more of the Williams family, but it lost the vote on my patreon. So chapter 45 will have another announcement for a new series! 

I am excited for you all to meet these lovely characters, and fall in love with them like you did the Williams family. I can't wait to share more!!

Part of it is available on my patreon now!