Tangled Webs II: Normal For The Spider - An SVU fic

23.Holding water

Sorry it took so long for me to update this, I just haven't had the urge to write it; I still don't but I figured either this or let my mind stay in a place so I'm putting some energy into this and I hope that I can give something good and if it's not then blame Sara. As usual, Dick Wolf owns the SVU characters, the rest are mine.

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It had been two weeks since Olivia had given birth to Casey and ten days since they came home. The doctors wanted to make sure that Casey was breathing and maintaining her body heat on her own and they kept her for four days to monitor her progress during which time she and Olivia received so many visitors, Alex was among them and she and Olivia had a private moment over the baby's name, reminiscing over their friend and missing her so much.

On the day that the baby was finally allowed to go home, Olivia was apprehensive to say the least. Neither she or Trevor had been at all prepared for Casey's arrival and with her coming so unexpectedly, other than a few outfits, they hadn't gotten around to setting up anything for her, not even a place for her to sleep which was why when they got home, Olivia was surprised to find that Trevor had set up a small nursery in their bedroom that would surely suffice until they moved. In addition to the many gifts they'd gotten from friends and family, they were again well set until that day.

Casey had had some issues that they discovered while still in the hospital. It was during her first feeding that Olivia noticed she wasn't sucking properly; actually, not strong enough to get any milk down, it just wasn't flowing. The doctor suggested a bottle with breastmilk at feeding times but that Olivia should continue to try, saying that Casey could improve quickly, Olivia trying with every feeding to encourage Casey, wanting desperately to feed her baby.

Now, two weeks after the birth, they were all settled in at home despite it being somewhat busy with 2 three and a half year olds, an almost two year old and a newborn but thankfully Trevor's mother had once again come when they needed her and was there to help with Noah and the twins, giving Olivia time to recover from the birth but with her becoming increasingly stressed over the fact that she couldn't feed the baby, and now haunted by dreams of her attack, it was trying and with Trevor trying desperately to stop drinking; so far succeeding but still the urges were there every minute. He was thankful that he had the kids to take his mind off of the urges for the most part but he found himself unable to sleep most nights , wanting a drink and usually found himself up cleaning.

Late that night as he was up scrubbing the imaginary dirt of the kitchen, Olivia came down with the baby to get a bottle of breastmilk from the fridge.

"I called for you." She said as she started for the refrigerator, now unsure if she should tell him about the dreams she'd been having since Casey was born, terrible dreams in which she saw Faust and just as vividly saw over and over what he did to her. She'd had another of those dreams just moments ago, thankful that the baby had woken her before the rape could replay again.

"I'm so sorry. Here, let me get that for you." He said as he reached for a bottle of milk and put it under the faucet to warm.

"Could you hand me a bottle of water while you're in there?" She said as she took a seat at the island with the baby who was now fussing quite loud. She put her to her shoulder and patted her back while gently rocking her. Trevor unscrewed the cap and brought the water to her.

"Thanks" she took a long drink and sat it back down, now definitely deciding that she should keep the dreams to herself.

"You look uncomfortable" He noted.

"That's because I need to pump." She half lied. What are you doing down here?" She said.

"Uh, just...I couldn't sleep." He said as he went back to the sink to monitor the milk while the baby continued to cry. "Have you tried to nurse her?"