Sacrifice

Can I help you?

Some time had passed after Robert's funeral and only now Stevie had started to live, accepting it. She couldn't change it and in her heart she knew it wasn't her fault, she didn't make him do such thing. Never ever had she thought she would miss him so much, divorce was one thing, they could run in to each other on the street or once the wounds had healed, they could be friends, but not now. He was gone, never to come back. Lindsey had been her rock as she grieved, he didn't question her, her feelings, obviously she needed to go through it. 

She was by herself and the house had never felt this empty and entirely too big. Lindsey was having a day out with his kids, he would come home later tonight, but now she sort of just sat in her bed, cross-legged, without a thing to do. She wanted, needed someone with her, only now she realized just how dependent she had become. She wasn't sure how to be alone anymore. 

Stevie had started drifting off to sleep, when she thought she heard the door bell. A little annoyed, she went downstairs to answer it. She tensed up, even if she hadn't met the person before, she knew who the woman in front of her was. A baby in her arms was a dead giveaway too.

"I'm sure you didn't expect to see me."

"Can't say I have." Stevie replied calmly, what good would it do to have an argument now? "Can I help you somehow?"

"I would like to talk."

"Do we have something to talk about?"

"Please?"

She stepped aside, opening the door wider and let Heather in, carrying her son. "We can have a seat here." Stevie showed to the living room and the other woman followed, sitting down, leaving a big gap between them. "When did you have him?"

"Almost right after Robert's passing... I guess, it hit me very hard and I went into premature labor. I was barely eight months pregnant. He's six weeks now."

"What's his name?"

Heather shrugged, not meeting Stevie's eyes. "He doesn't have a name. Not yet."

Strange, Stevie thought, but didn't take the question further. "So, what did you want to talk to me about?"

"I came here to apologize. I know it won't help, but I still feel so guilty, I should have never gone after a married man."

"You should have thought about it, before you did just that."

"Robert was the only man who has ever showed some type of respect for me, he didn't see me as a dirty whore that I was."

"Not to burst your bubble, but he didn't speak very good about you."

"I know. And I had no bubble to burst, I knew he loved you and I was shocked when he said he would file for divorce and be with us. I'm not saying I loved him either, but he was good to me, he took care of me and it meant I didn't have to work as a stripper anymore."

"Listen, if you came here to tell me how wonderfully my deceased husband treated you while we were still married, then you know where the door is. I don't want to listen to this and I won't."

"No, I just... I'm sorry. Truly, I came here to say I'm sorry. I didn't think I would get pregnant, I didn't think Robert would want to be with me, although it didn't take him long before he came crawling back to you, but... I didn't think things would end like they did, that Robert came to such a point he committed suicide. And the blame is on me. If I hadn't been the smallest part of his life, you wouldn't have wanted to divorce him, you would have been together still right now."

Stevie looked at the fussing baby in Heather's arms. "But you wouldn't have had your son either. May I see him?" 

She nodded and gave the baby over to Stevie, who cuddled the boy close to her chest, soothing him immediately. "He's the real reason I'm here." Heather said, making Stevie frown.

"How come?"

"I'm not fit to be a mother, I don't want to be a mother. I kept it, because I thought I will have Robert to help me and we could have been a family, but now he's not with us and I realize that... that I don't even love this baby, I don't feel anything, I don't want him."

Stevie was shocked by what she was hearing. "Heather, this boy is your own flesh and blood. How can you say that? He's innocent in all this mess. He's a human being, you can't just throw him out!"

"I know, I understand. I've decided to put him up for adoption. But before an agency took over, I... I wanted to come to you first. He's Robert's son, you loved him and I know you could love this boy. I couldn't imagine a better person to take care of him."

"Heather, just what exactly are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I'm not keeping the baby and I would be happy if you adopted him, if you were his mother. Officially."

"Do you hear yourself? Do you realize what you're asking me?"

"I do, I thought about this long and hard. I won't know who takes my baby if I give him away, but if it were you, I know he would be given the best life a child could have growing up."

"Did you think about that I'm sixty six and this child might not have a mother for a very long time?"

"I did. Or he could have the most amazing mother for many years to come."

"And if I say no? You're most definitely not keeping him? You could actually give your own child away?"

"It's not about if I could, I will."

Stevie didn't know what else to say as she looked down at the little boy, sleeping in her arms, his tiny fist gripping her finger.