Runaway Rogue

Chapter Twenty Six: Indigo's POV

Indigo sat on the couch for so long she felt like she became a part of it. If she was wise, she would have forced herself to get up and get out. Even if she didn't want to leave, she knew she had to.

The truth was starting to come out. A small part of her knew that the truth would always find her in the end. Maybe it was better that it came now, before she got even more attached to Caspian. And it was a blessing that silver was in her bloodstream. Had she gone into heat and he marked her otherwise, she surely would have accepted it. During that heat, she would have taken anything he was offering. He was her weakness.

Now, she was falling apart in his home, her neck throbbing.

She hated that she let herself get here. She hated the shock and hurt on Caspian's face when Bentley's healer had blurted out that she had consumed silver. She hated that he knew that she had kept herself from him. And she hated that both Bentley and Forest had stepped in to make sure she could escape a man who had only done right by her.

Maybe she should have stayed with Bentley and tried to leave from there, but somehow, she knew that Bentley wasn't so careless. He would track her within an inch of her life. Caspian's mind was muddled. He would be sloppy now. He would let her get away.

"Hey, are you okay?" Caspian asked, materializing in the living room.

It was almost funny that he would ask her that when he looked like shit. His sepia coloured hair was a mess, his eyes ringed in dark circles. He needed rest. But she didn't doubt that she looked like hell too, considering the sun had gone down and she had barely noticed at all. At least she had turned on the television so it looked like she was doing something other than growing moss.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Do you want something to eat, maybe? Some tea or coffee?"

"Sure, that sounds really nice," she said, though she wasn't feeling particularly hungry at all. Her theory was that if she ate, he probably would too. The gods only knew the last time he ate.

Caspian whipped up a meal that they had been planning on cooking together, before everything fell to shambles. Indigo wished she could be in the kitchen with him, that she could stretch up on her toes to reach something from a high shelf beside him and know that his eyes were following the movement, that she could offer him little bites of food before it was done.

Instead, she sat back and watched. She wanted to commit it all to memory in the hopes that she could call upon these images on her darker days. Because those darker days were certainly coming now.

Caspian set a dish in front of her. So softly, she almost didn't hear it, he asked, "Can we talk about what is going on, Indie?"

She studied him as he lowered himself onto the chair across from her. He looked exhausted, the kind that sank into the bones. The luster was gone from his eyes.

"I'm not sure that it's a good idea," she replied gently.

"Please?" he pressed.

Sure, she could tell him the truth, but what good would it do now? He could not be her protector when he had a pack to think of first. She would never ask that of him. She could only offer him a small relief. "It wasn't about you."

Caspian's brow furrowed. "What?"

"I didn't take the silver because of you. Things are...complicated." And vile, and unfair, and cruel, as much of life can be. But she didn't dare add those things.

"We can work through complicated together," Caspian suggested. "I just need to know what's going on."

Indigo didn't reply, knowing that every inch she gave him, he would only push for more. And she had nothing left to give, not if she wanted to keep him and herself safe.