Linger (Camren)

Chapter 13: Change For You

{Lauren's POV}

I snuggled up to the bunched up mess of blankets and the plush comforter. As soon as I got home, I took a long, freezing cold shower. My skin was cool to the touch now, but on the inside, I felt like I was on fire.

I wasn't angry or anything like that, I was just...

Ugh, I don't even know!

I internally groan at my inability to comprehend what I was feeling. It's like:

I can't be jealous, cause she isn't even mine.

I can't be angry, cause I was the one to ignore her today.

I can't be hurt, cause it's not like I'm a big part of her life anyway.

I guess I just feel... Stupid. Credulous. Naive to think that Camila and I could be something to one another.

She looked so much at ease in his presence, whoever the hell he was. Maybe he was someone she was dating, or maybe he was just a close friend of hers. Either way, it didn't make things any different.

I could never be the one to make her crack up or smile in the same way he did.

I'm not the fun, energetic, outgoing person that Camila is. I'm not as confident or as witty as she is. I'm not as adventurous or full of life. I'm not, in anyway, like her.

In fact, if you really think about it, we are complete opposites.

I don't benefit her in anyway, and my presence, or absence, in her life would make no difference. She has other people in her life that can truly make her happy. There's no way I could contribute.

She'll forget about me soon enough. Who's to say she hasn't already.

I kept my phone off for the rest of the night and just laid in bed with my eyes closed waiting for sleep to take me away from my thoughts. But as usual my mind was racing, seemingly with no intent of letting up anytime soon. I willed myself to stop thinking about her, but I couldn't.

I was losing sleep, once again, at the realization that I wasn't good enough for anyone. Yet again, I had allowed myself to grow close enough to someone to let that happen.

Now, I was angry.

---

{Camila's POV}

A little over a week and a half had gone by since I had heard or seen from Lauren since that night at Gio's.

That didn't mean I didn't try, almost everyday, to get in contact with her. At least... in the beginning.

After the 7th consecutive day, I figured she didn't want to hear anymore lame jokes, see any more weird pictures, or read anymore attempts at conversation. I know that I may have come off a little strong, but...

No.

Actually no, I didn't come off too strong. I was nothing but courteous, polite and patient with her. I waited everyday to hear back from her and got nothing. I thought about everything I could have possibly done wrong in my mind, but I honestly couldn't think a single thing. I thought we were enjoying one another's company. I suppose the feeling wasn't mutual.

Still, I didn't think she'd be the kind of person to just drop me like that.

But I'm still here, waiting for when...or if, she does respond. And when... or if she ever does, I know I'll be just as elated.

"Mila!" Dinah says, grabbing my face in her large hand with ease.

I flinch back, startled by the sudden darkness and the overwhelming smell of vanilla lotion. "What?!"