Fontaine's EPIC: The Musical

Polyphemus

Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it, and happy Ithaca saga release day as well!  I’m just about to listen to the songs once I post this. I look forward to your comments.
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(Some people flinch at the shooting of the sheep, others don't even blink- you know who they are, you can guess them.)

P: Look at all this food! Look at all these sheep! I can't believe this cave has all this for us to keep!
“It’s certainly quite suspicious, don’t you agree, Lynette?” Lyney glances over sideways at his sister, who nods in agreement. “Who is the one raising all this sheep? They couldn’t have survived on their own in this dark cave.”

Their conversation was overheard by some others, who saw the logic in their words and tensed, wondering if this was some sort of trap pulled by the Lotus Eaters on unsuspecting travelers. Or maybe not the Lotus eaters but some other hostile beings?

E: I've gotta hand it to you both. This is quite the treat. There are enough sheep here to feed the entire fleet!
Navia shifts in her seat, a look of suspicion on her face. It seems like nobody was very confident that this would end well. Food that could feed their entire fleet, just here in some random cave the Lotus eaters directed them to? It didn’t make much sense whatsoever unless there was some ulterior motive or someone who was in the cave that was rearing the sheep?

O: It's almost too perfect, too good to be true. Why would the lotus eaters pass up on all this food?
People nod, agreeing with Odysseus. Would the Lotus eaters really do this out of kindness or plain obliviousness? Perhaps they themselves forgot if the cave was dangerous or not and sent them there? Or maybe they just didn’t care. Chevreuse sighs, already guessing that the reveal would be coming very soon, maybe even right after this. She has read too many novels not to suspect otherwise.

???: Who are you?
There it is. There are people who flinch, eyes widened in fright at the deep and unnatural voice and the music change that went from carefree and joyful to unsettling and so... wrong. There were some gasps as a large monster appeared, looming over all of the cast. It was so tall! And why did it only have one eye? Chevreuse raises her eyebrow at the sight of it. Who was this new character, and why did they look so intimidating?!

O: Hey there! We're just travelers. We come in peace.
Some people facepalm at Odysseus’ attempt to diffuse the tense situation.
“Ody, we love you, but that is NOT going to work.” Sethos says with an exasperated sigh.

“We love him?”
“Well, yeah. Don’t you agree?”

“Don’t put words in my mouth…” Hat Guy tells him with an unamused look.

???: You killed my sheep. My favourite sheep.
Of course they did... What horrible luck.

What gives you the right to deal a pain so deep. Don't you know that pain you sow is pain you reap?
Oh no, this isn't gonna be good, literally everyone groaned mentally. Seems like this character cared a lot about that sheep they just killed. The tension in the air only increased further.

Time to drink. Your blood over where you stand. Your life now is in my hand.
People gasp in fear as they see the cyclops grab Odysseus and lift him up, so tiny compared to it. People were sweating, the music was so unnerving, and the lyrics too…

Before I'm done, you will learn that it's not so fun to take. You came to my home to steal. But now you'll become my meal.
Oh, what an irony. The fact that it rhymes too- Amazing, but unnerving as well. Furina certainly wrote this damn song very well. (Jorge, you’re amazing.)

A trade, you see? Take from you like you took from me.
Oh, Archons.. Nope, not how trades go! That's called revenge and vengeance, dear... friend.

O: There's been a misunderstanding. We never came here to steal, but now that I see we've done some damage. Maybe you and I can make a deal. I'll give you our finest treasure, so long as we leave alive. You can keep the world's best tasting wine!
They see how Odysseus quickly thinks of a plan, which is impressive given the circumstances. “He was able to keep calm under pressure.” Wriothesley notes with approval.

Though some more realistic and skeptical individauls wonder if a monster would really drink and even like wine. Do they even know what it is?

Venti is chuckling, nodding like wine is the best and correctest answer. Those who know him slap a hand over their faces.

O: One sip and you'll understand. The power that's in your hands. A wine so fresh, you'd never wanna eat human flesh again.
People once again nod in approval at how he is convincing the monster with his dramatics, which seems to be saving his life. A situation where theatrics is a good thing… huh.

A few grimace at the fact that the monster apparently EATS humans. That's unnerving and disgusting. Venti just chuckles, saying he agrees that wine is better tasting. People look at him funny. Does this bard know what human flesh tastes like- Nevermind, they don’t want to know.

Ah, I'd like to thank you.
Thank the Seven that it or he or whatever their pronouns are liked the wine that Odysseus gave. What a gamble!

Stranger, what's your name?
“He probably shouldn’t reveal it, right? Better safe than sorry."

O: My name is Nobody.
Everyone is rather confused why he chose that instead of any other random name, but also DAMN SHE CAN SING. A few real smart people think of reasons why he does so, though, and nods approvingly at his actions.

Nobody, for your gift I've one to reply.
O: I'm so glad we see eye to eye.
Yes, you shall be the final man to die. People's stomachs promptly drop in horror.

O: What? Watch out!
"FUCK NO." There are frightened yells, some even going so far as to get out of their seats in shock or horror.