Mr. Tomlinson (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 34

*Louis' p.o.v*

It kills me seeing Harry like this, he's literally on mass distriction. He hasn't been himself, he's just so distant. The worst thing is he won't let anyone in, he won't say how he's feeling or anything.

"He's just gone to the bathroom" Jake tells me breaking me from my thought. I've had to hide all sharp objects in the house because he's started to harm himself. I just got to hope and prayer that Gemma makes it, because if she doesn't it would break him.

Harry walks into the room looking like the dead. He flumps down on the sofa sitting next to me. "You okay Haz?" Jake asks

"Of corse I am it's not like my mums just died and my sister is on life support" he says sarcastically

"I was just asking" Jake huffs walking out of the room "I don't know why I bother" he shouts

"It's okay y'know to talk about it, it might help" I tell him and he looks at me

"I just, I just don't know how to though Lou. I feel like I have nothing, like my whole world has just stopped turning. I feel like I should be dead not her, she s-she s-shouldn't b-be d-dead. She's m-my m-mum" Harry cries "she's my mum"

I pull him close to me bring him in for a hug "Haz, you shouldn't s-say that. Y-you shouldn't think like t-that" I start to cry, the other week he tried to kill himself in the bathroom. He'd taken an overdose of sleeping pills then got in the bath and tried to drown himself. When I had finally knocked the door down and pulled him out of the bath his pulse was very weak. I was a wreak when I phoned the ambulance the thought of loosing him made my heart break. The doctor said if I hadn't of got to him when I did he would have died.

Harry comes in looking like death warmed up, he takes a seat next to me. "How are you H?" Jake asks him

"I'm fine. It's not like my mum has just died and my sister is on life-support or anything" Harry says sarcastically

"I was only asking. Trying to be a friend" Jake huffs waking out of the room "fuck you bro" he shouts slamming the door

"Haz, I am here y'know. I've been through the same thing that you are going through with grieving over someone who you love" I tell him "you can talk to me. I'm all ears"

"S-she shouldn't of died. S-she is my m-mum Lou. I-I should have been t-the one t-to di-ie. S-she's m-my mum. I-I should be d-dead" Harry cries. I move closer and pull him in for a hug

"Shhh" I hush him "y-you shouldn't be saying things like that. W-when you took an o-overdose do you know the p-pain you c-caused m-me? I-I thought y-you were going to die, you almost died" I tell him trough sobs and stuttering

"I just wish the pain would go away. I-I just don't know what to do Lou. All I know is to hurt myself. It takes away the mental pain of it and replaces it with physical pain. I can't deal with it, I want it to go away. I want it t-to g-go away" Harry shouts in pain

"It will go. Maybe with a bit of time but I will be here for you, I will never ever let you go through this alone" I tell him "just promise me something?"

"What?" He asks looking up at me

"When it gets a little too much, don't reach for the razor or a sharp object reach for my hand instead" I tell him he moves his head to look down, he shakes his head saying no. "Harry, you will end up dying if you carry on doing this" I tell him

"Maybe I want to. Maybe I want to die, everyone says it will get better, or that it will be okay but I can't see it getting any better! I just want her back! I want her back!" Harry shouts, ripping my heart out at the words that he had just spoke "you can't tell me what to do, your not my dad!"

"I know I'm not your dad Harry. But I am your boyfriend, and I do care about you more then you know. I can't bare to see you saying you want to die" I look at him

"I just, just" Harry cries falling into my arms.

I leave him there rubbing his back for a few minutes before he pulls away. He looks at me without saying anything, his eyes full of nothing. His hair all in his face. I brush the loose strands if hair out of his eyes with my thumb "I love you Harry" I tell him "I really really do"

His eyes lock with mine but he doesn't return the I love you. He just stares at me saying nothing. Nothing at all. Until he leans forwards and connects his lips on to mine. It's been ages since we have kissed, it just hasn't been the right moment with everything that has happens and how he's been. The kiss doesn't seem like antithetical kiss we have shared it's more dull I guess. I pull away from him and he doesn't move he stays where he was and looks at me. "I don't want to talk anymore" he tells me "I'm tired of talking. That's all you ever want to do. We haven't kissed for over a week and as for sex well that happens once. Once" Harry says moving away "I just want you Lou, I can't loose you aswell" he tells me

"But it's okay for me to loose you though?" I stand up and he starts to cry again. I can't leave him like this he'll end up hurting himself again or worse.

"I'm s-sor-ry" he mumbles as I sit next to him "I-I just thought the only answer was to hurt myself, but I-I love you Lou" Harry tells me "hurting me wouldn't just hurt me, it would hurt you too"

"There's more then one answer Haz. Just talk to me" I tell him "I love you too" I kiss his lips, this time it wasn't "dull" it was more colourful....