Short poems aimed to describe the feeling of losing someone without really losing them, but yourself. And how painful it can be to discover that even to your own self, your past version will never come back. All that's left is the current version, l...
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It crept up slowly, that frustration A shadow growing within me Fed by doubt, by fear, by the whisper of failure That seemed louder than anything else I was young, eighteen, a barely formed adult Yet I felt the weight of the world pressing on my chest Telling me I was already behind Useless, I thought, just a kid who did homework And watched life move on without her I looked in the mirror and saw not myself But a stranger, someone I resented For not being more, for not being enough I pushed myself, stretched too thin Trying to be everything I thought the world demanded of me And in the chaos of expectation I became my own worst enemy Isn't it strange? Isn't it cruel? To tear yourself apart Because the world hasn't given you a place yet I felt old, too old to dream Too late to build something meaningful But deep down, I was just a scared young adult Still learning what it means to live I tried to race ahead of time To outrun the uncertainty But I only buried myself deeper Lost in a pit of "what-ifs" and "not-yets" It's a black hole, And it takes everything you have to climb out No one prepares you for the silence For the ache of seeing others move forward While you're standing still No one tells you how much it hurts To confront your flaws To wrestle with your insecurities To face the truth of your own reflection They don't teach you how to dream again When the first one collapses And loving yourself? That's the hardest thing of all A battle you fight every day With no map, no guide, no certainty I'm still fighting Still trying to hold onto hope When the darkness threatens to pull me back in I want to live, truly live, while I am young While the world is still wide and waiting Not rushing ahead Not weighed down by the fear of failing again But breathing, seeing, becoming Because life isn't measured by a timeline Or the expectations of others It's found in the quiet moments In the small victories In the courage to dream again Even when it feels impossible I am not useless I am not my failures I am still here And that is enough.
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There's a type of relationship I now avoid A flame I've been too close to One that seared my soul And left scars where there once was tenderness It's not the person who haunts me anymore I've forgotten him Though I once thought I never could No, it's the echo of what we were The patterns we fell into, the way we twisted love Until it became something unrecognizable We were young, reckless with each other's hearts There were moments of sweetness Of shared laughter But they were drowned out by manipulation By immaturity that neither of us could escape It wasn't entirely his fault, nor mine We were mirrors reflecting each other's flaws Amplifying the worst parts of ourselves Until the love we thought we had Crumbled beneath the weight of our mistakes Looking back, I wonder What might have been different If we had been wiser If we had approached each other with care Instead of with the desperation Of wanting to be loved But then again Perhaps that's what love is in its rawest form Messy, imperfect, a place where growth begins We were not right for each other But maybe we were right for the time We met, we loved, we broke And in the wreckage, we found pieces of ourselves I've cried over it, even years later Not because I miss him But because I miss the version of myself Who loved so deeply, even if it was flawed I mourn the girl who didn't know yet What she deserved, who thought love was enough To excuse the pain it brought I've said goodbye to her too Just as I've said goodbye to him He came back, not once, but three times Each time, my heart broke a little more But not in the way it once did This time, the breaking was different It was the kind of breaking that makes space For something stronger to grow I said no, and though it hurt It was the kind of hurt that heals I've learned that some bridges Are not meant to be crossed again That some fires are not meant to be reignited We were a lesson, not a destiny And while the love I felt for him was unique It is not irreplaceable Love will come again, in a form I can't yet imagine Perhaps stronger, perhaps softer But undoubtedly different For now, I hold onto the greatest thing This experience has given me The knowledge that I am enough, That I deserve a love That doesn't burn me to ashes But lights my way forward.
