The Truth in Cliche (Falling in Reverse and Escape the Fate FanFic) Sequel to Not Good Enough

28. This Girl is War

Craig's POV:

I came down the steps of the bus and locked eyes with her.

Her.

The most beautiful and evil woman my eyes had ever had the pleasure of taking in.

She was a storm. And as much as I loved the sounds she made I was tired of getting rained on. The world was a stage and Carter always had to be in the center of it. I loved her for it, but I had to leave. Sometimes the lights are too bright. Try as I might I didn't have the energy for all the drama the way she did. It made her interesting, that's for sure. But a person can only take so much of a roller coaster... They have to get off eventually. And as much as it hurt me, this was my stop.

I loved her. I really did. And those green eyes, the way they filled just now. I wasn't sure if those tears came from her actually feeling pain, or just realizing that I figured out her game and decided I didn't want to play. She was one hell of a prize but she played dirty. She fought dirty.

She made me so angry. All I wanted to do was wrap my arms around that growing belly and hold her. I wanted to hold her and tell her the game was over. I wanted her to surrender, to allow herself to be loved the way she is supposed to. But she is so damn dysfunctional, stubborn and and... Scared She's so goddamn scared to make her own choices and I am tired of her trying to get Ronnie and I to fight for her. Over her. This war between us is going to go to the death, because none of us will budge, one way or the other. So I forfeited. It's time for me to live my life.

I can only do that if she isn't in the picture.

"Craig!" I looked up from my feet to see Ziz in front of me

"Hey dude! How have you been?" I asked as I hugged her 

"Honestly? I've been better," she said as she looked at me, a little too intensely.

I cringed "Yeah? Why is that?" I asked returning my eyes to my feet like the insecure little boy this situation turned me into.

Her eyes narrowed at me but she kept her voice even, "Oh you know. Pregnant lead that is having mad emotional problems. But you wouldn't know anything about that, would you?" Her glare intensified.

"Oh, that. Yeah man. I mean, I feel for you, and I'm sorry. But there are some things going on right now that you couldn't even begin to understand... So as much as I appreciate your caring I'm gong to have to ask you to stop being a high school girl and trying to get me to gossip. Carter and I are dealing with this like adults, and unfortunately, that sometimes means making decisions that ruin friendships. And it sucks. I know. But life sucks, excuse me" I walked past her and tried not to feel bad. I was doing what needed to be done, for all our sakes. For all our sanity... I needed to stay away from her. She was a drug. And we have enough addicts around here.

Ziz's POV:

I was left there in complete disbelief. Craig had never treated me this way. What ever was up his craw was serious. And I guess he's right. Carter and Craig are adults, and they can handle their own business.

I walked away from the Falling In Reverse bus and headed over to my bus. As soon as I stepped inside I regretted it. A very pregnant, very angry Carter was sitting on the couch punching herself in the leg. I sighed. As much as I loved her I was exhausted, and honestly didn't feel like baby sitting and 20 year old woman all day. But this band was as much mine as it was hers, and  without her we would be boned for the tour. So I sucked it up, walked over, and grabbed her hands.

"Stop," I said, calmly.

"No," she screamed as she pulled at my hands. My grip was a vice, she couldn't shake it.

"I said stop!" I screamed at her, letting my cool personality slip. I knew I was going to regret it but I couldn't stop at this point.

"Don't tell me what to do!" she screamed right back, still trying to pull her hands away from me. I couldn't handle it anymore. I let go of her hands and grabbed her shoulders. I started to shake her.

"You are being a cunt! I know you are pregnant and I know Craig broke your heart and I know you don't know how you feel about Ronnie right now, but I also know that deep down in there you have some common fucking decency and know you are acting irrationally and immaturely!" I let go of her shoulders and looked at her. The look on her face said it all.

"I fucking hate you and I want you out of my band, cunt," she snarled and went to stand. Before I could stop myself my hand was going towards her face... My intention was to slap her at first, but at the last possible second my fingers curled in and I was swinging my fist right into her jaw. As soon as I did it I knew what had just happened.

I just left the band.

Ronnie's POV:

I ran my hand through her hair. I kissed her forehead, but I did them out of a knowledge that I needed to. I could feel that she disliked the actions just as much as I did. 

I hated her.

I honestly did. 

Inside and out... I found her to be the most disappointing and disgusting person on the face of the earth, but I still took her hand. I still wrapped my arm around her waist and helped her to her bus. I sat her on the couch. I offered to get her something to eat, to drink. I asked if there was anything she needed, do I need to carry you to bed? But I wasn't even worth a verbal response to her. She just kept nodding no, and looking at the door. I could here her thoughts, they were so loud.

Leave, leave. Leave and bring Craig back!

She might as well have been screaming it. I wanted to scream back. I wanted to called her a bitch. To tell her that it was her fault she was here. That it was her fault that these things fell apart. That she was an unlucky, stupid bitch who was stuck with me because of her own bad choices. 

And because of that beautiful life growing in her I couldn't leave. She was unreliable, unstable.... She was sick. She was too sick to take care of herself and that was my child I needed to take care of, to love. To protect... Even if it was from its own mother. 

I finally listened to her screaming thoughts. I left the bus and went in search of something to make me whole. I went searching for peace. I knew I wouldn't find it. Carter was war. She was hell trapped inside of a girl and she ruined everything she touched. And oh my god how this girl touched my heart. She touched it, took it, destroyed it, and then asked for more. I had nothing to give her but my loyalty. I had nothing but my loyalty, so I gave it to her. I gave it all and then some, and she couldn't return the favor.

She had to go and be unfaithful. She had to go running for another answer. She couldn't sit here with me and fight. She couldn't fight for us. She ran. She ran because that's what she does. She ran because she's weak. She's a weak coward who has never solved a single problem in her life because she just... Runs. She can be within touching distance and she'll still be miles away. Kissing her was kissing a black hole... You lost a little more of yourself each time.

But isn't that how it was supposed to be? Aren't you supposed to lose yourself in the person you love? Isn't it beautiful to lose time with them and to lose the parts of yourself that you never liked anyway? But what happens when that's a one way transaction? When you're the only one giving.... And they're just taking taking taking like you are an infinite being and are capable of supplying their greed. Like you have all the love and comfort in the world to give. When they act like you have enough for them and then some. But the fact of the matter is as people we are only equipped with so much love. We can only handle so much. But what happens when you give all that? When all that you were given was taken from you, or given in a manner which did not go how you planned? I'm left empty inside and I need to know if there is a way to refill. To get more... Because how do you get through life this way? With nothing left to give but someone needs you to give them more? I just... I just don't know how I am going to keep doing this.

I am tired. I am so tired.

I am tired of fighting for a girl who obviously does not want me to fight for her.

Maybe it's time to tap out. Maybe it's time to let someone step in who can handle her. Who... understands her. Because I sure as hell don't.