The Truth in Cliche (Falling in Reverse and Escape the Fate FanFic) Sequel to Not Good Enough

20. Confession Session

Things hadn't quite been the same the past few days. Jacen had finally returned, but wouldn't speak to me. Ziz and Runt talked, but it seemed as if they didn't know what to talk about. No one knew how to behave around me. Craig and I haven't spoken since our moment on the bus. It had nothing to do with him, I had just been avoiding him. We'd played two shows and I managed to get by without acting any different. But I knew as tour went on hiding my little secret from the fans, and management, would be impossible, and most certainly unhealthy.

"Hey, want to go grab some lunch?" I glanced up from my phone and saw Ziz standing over me and smiling.

"Actually, I think I'm going to take care of something I should have done a while ago," I gave her a sad smile, and she gave a knowing nod. Her and Runt left the bus, but I stayed a while longer. Jacen was on the Falling in Reverse bus, hopefully not spreading... the truth.

I sighed and stood, accepting that I had to face the music, and talk to Ronnie. With a knot in my stomach I threw on a sweater and boots, stepping off the bus into the bitter cold of Colorado. I sighed and watched the vapors leave my mouth. I walked slowly toward his bus, wishing the cold would draw some sense into me, but all it did was amplify my fear of the situation.

I arrived at his bus and hesitated before knocking. I stood for what seemed like an eternity before the door opened. Ryan smiled kindly at me and gestured me in. I returned it and walked past him, immediately locking eyes with Jacen. She stared blankly at me and I turned about face to Ryan.

"Where is Ronnie?" I asked

"Here I am," he smiled, walking out of the bunk area. I sent a small insincere smile, but he didn't seem to question it.

"Hey, wanna go get a bite?" I asked, wanting to get off of this bus as soon as possible, Jacen's glare was burning a hole into the back of my head.

"Yeah," he smiled and wrapped an arm around my waist before walking off the bus with me. We walked a short distance from the venue and wound up a snug bar tucked into a brick wall somewhere. We were seated and didn't talk until our orders had been taken. I didn't mind the silence, it was far from awkward... more comforting than any words could have possibly been.

"So you and Jace?" he asked, sipping on his tea and finally breaking our stand still.

"It's complicated. But don't be surprised if there is a change in the line up sometime in the near future," I said. There was a double meaning, but that didn't need to be explained. Yet.

"It was that serious?" he asked, sounding genuinely surprised.

"Yeah, actually. She proved herself to be two-faced, and completely untrustworthy. I can't have anyone like that in my band," I said

"Just try to remember, Carter, it's not just your band. There are other members involved. A band is a family, not a property. Trust me, I've learned through experience," he sent me a smile, and something inside me twinged. I began to remember why I fell in love with this boy.

"I know, but at the end of the day unless all the members in the family get along, it becomes so taxing that it's not fun anymore," I said

"On the bright side, if anything does change at least you guys are just starting out and you won't get too much noise about a line up change," he shrugged and I nodded. Our food had arrived sometime without my noticing, and I began to poke the cheese covered bacon slop in front of me that resembled some form of what used to be a burger. The look on my face must have reflected my thoughts on it.

"You love bacon burgers?" Ronnie asked more than stated.

"Well yeah, but it just doesn't seem all that appealing to me right now," I shrugged when in all honesty I wanted to gag. I held it in, to not give myself away too soon.

"Is it stress?" He asked, I felt guilt build within me at the concern on his face.

"Yeah actually," I answered vaguely. It wasn't a lie, I was incredibly stressed. I just didn't say what about.

"What about?" he asked. Fuck.

"It's actually somethi-" I was interrupted by a squeal behind me.

"Ronnie? Oh gosh, hi. I'm such a huge fan, I don't mean to interrupt you guys, but I'm coming to see you tonight," the girl smiled. I grimaced. She was bleach blonde, with booty shorts and Uggs on. Whores... they're like polar bears. Never cold.

"Oh, cool," Ronnie smiled even though I knew he was irritated. He signed the girl's hoodie and took a picture with her duck face self. She skipped away. I rolled my eyes.

"Jealous?" Ronnie smirked

"Not even, more like disgusted," I answered. He chuckled and I continued to poke my food.

"You aren't starving yourself again are you? Doing that shit will get you kicked off the tour," he said, cutting his eyes at me in suspicion as he ate his burger.

"No, no. I just, I have something really important to tell you Ronnie," I sighed. This was it.

"Okay, shoot," he said with a mouthful of burger.

"Ronnie, put the burger down. It's really... serious," I sighed again and he began to look worried. He sat his food down and looked at me in anticipation. I swallowed hard and began. "Ronnie, I don't know a special or good way to tell you this. There's no way to say it without, throwing you for a whirlwind. I wish there was but-" he interrupted

"Calm down, you're about to hyperventilate," he said reaching over and rubbing my hand. It wasn't until then that I realized how hard it actually was to breathe. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Last thing I need right now is a panic attack.

"I'm pregnant," I said, eyes still closed. I opened them quickly as soon as I realized the words had actually left my mouth.

"You're...." he stuttered, and looked at me in bewilderment.

"Pregnant," I repeated, searching for his reaction. He locked eyes with me, and a smile spread over his face. One of pure joy. It shocked me.

"Pregnant!" he whisper yelled, grabbing my hands and squeezing them. "Oh my god, babe. Do you know how good this will be for us?" his smile grew, and I couldn't help but smile too. Mine wasn't out of joy... but fear. I was afraid to express my doubts. He seemed so happy... After all the sadness I'd caused him I would let him have this. I had to.

***

"So who knows?" he asked, as we walked, hand in hand, back to the venue.

"The girls. It's actually what sparked the fight between Jacen and I. She doesn't think I'm ready," I said

"Well of course you aren't. You're only 20. But that's okay, we're going to get through this together, Carter. We are going to learn together," he smiled at me and squeezed my hand. I kept quiet and let him celebrate. "So management doesn't know?" he asked

"No," I said, he took a deep breath.

"That's okay for now. How far along are you?" he asked

"About eight weeks now," I told him. Hoping he wouldn't put two and two together.

"So you should be able to finish out this tour, but-" I cut him off

"Yeah. I'll miss Warped," I sighed, not wanting to be reminded of that.

"Don't worry, you'll... We'll figure it out," he squeezed my hand again before opening my bus door. He kissed my cheek before shutting it and heading to his bus. I immediately went to my bunk and dialed Max.

"Max," I said as soon as he picked up.

"Yeah?" he sounded worried

"I told him," I said

"How did he take it?" he asked, I could hear him exhaling his cigarette through the phone.

"Good. Better than good, he's ecstatic about it, Max!" I whisper yelled into the phone, attempting to fight down the anxiety bubbling in my chest.

"Look, that's better than him being angry. I'll call you later tonight, right now isn't a good time," he said hurriedly.

"I love you," I said before hanging up. I sighed deeply and lied back.

I stared at the bunk above me, and asked why things always got so.... muddled.