The Truth in Cliche (Falling in Reverse and Escape the Fate FanFic) Sequel to Not Good Enough

22. I Don't Think You Know

Can I just say that I LOVE THIS CHAPTER? Kay.
~love,hugs, and other drugs~

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Ronnie's POV:

I should be angry at her. I should, I should yell, or scream. I should, do... something.

But I can't. I love her.

I fucking love her!! Even after all of this, I'm in love with her. And that breaks my heart. It shatters me that I'll always love her more than she'll ever love me.

She's fucking bewitching. She's beautiful, and magnificent, and blinding. She's a gorgeous cancer. She gets in your head and metastasizes to your fucking heart, digging and burying herself in you, making herself impenetrable. I can't rip her out without taking my whole heart with her, and that's evil.

She's evil, and if I could I would hate her with all of me.

But I can't. I can't do anything but lay here and think. Think about all my good times with her. All she's done for me, and all I've done for her. I lay here and fucking think about all we've been through. Lie here and think about all the good, and trying to taint it. Trying to take away the beautiful moments, and I can't. She has me. And it infuriates me. That receipt... Fucking 455 dollar shoes? That is not acceptable. I sat up, and Carter was still in the bathroom getting ready. I left the bus, telling the girls to tell Carter I'd be back.

I bounded down the steps and across the lot to the Fate bus. I knocked on the door, trying to calm my nerves. Anger flowed through my veins, boiling my blood. My fists were clenched as tightly as my jaw, and I tried to relax.

"Hey," TJ opened the door and let me pass. I nodded at him, afraid to use my voice

"Craig?" I called, sounding surprisingly calm. He came from the bunk area, and I smiled at him.

"Hey dude, can I talk to you?" I asked, nodding my head toward the door.

"Yeah, sure dude," he nodded and walked out in front of me. As soon as I closed the door behind me, I grabbed Craig by the collar of his shirt and slammed him up against the bus. I clenched my other fist and raised it. Midway to his face I composed myself and slammed it into the metal near his head. I let go of him and turned away. My now bloody hand ran through my hair and I felt myself shaking with anger. I turned back toward him and slammed my fist into the same spot, leaving a dent this time. Craig took a step away from me, but didn't leave. He watched.

"I love her," I said, rubbing my bloody hand through my hair again. "I fucking love her, Craig," I said, shaking, my fists clenching and unclenching. I was so fucking angry.

"I know," he nodded at me. I took a step towards him and he jumped back.

"Do you? Do you know? I don't think you do," I laughed, and he watched me carefully, mirroring every move I made, not letting me close the distance between us. "I don't fucking think you do," I chuckled a bit and held my hands in front of me in a strangling motion. "Cuz if you knew you wouldn't be so fucking close to me right now. I love her Craig. And I wish this were your head right here," I continued the motion. Craig stared at me. "Stop fucking staring at me like that Mabbitt, I swear to god. You are so lucky I didn't... You're fucking lucky Mabbitt. Don't, don't push me," I said, taking a step nearer. He moved back again. Oh I wanted to kill him. "I want to kill you," I laughed, and again, he just watched.

"Ronnie," he started and I punched the bus again. He shut up.

"She loves you," I wasn't laughing anymore. I was crying. I was sobbing. I leaned my head against the bus. I stayed there for a minute before wiping my face and looking at him. "She loves you. Don't buy her anything that expensive anymore," I said, "It's disrespectful," then I ran a bloody hand through my hair once more before walking away from him. I felt him staring at me as I went.