The Truth in Cliche (Falling in Reverse and Escape the Fate FanFic) Sequel to Not Good Enough

6. Don't Breathe You'll Break It

Carter's POV:

He held my hand. He kissed me. He opened doors and paid for me. He was perfect. This whole day was.

"Thank you." I smiled and kissed him as we were curled up on my couch. Yes, my. As in the one at the house. Ronnie and I's house. I came back. All my stuff is in the room, already unpacked, back to the way it was.

Which is the problem.

Nothing really changed. We had a cute date, and I came home. But I still feel confused. I'm conflicted. Something is in the way, and I don't know what it is but whatever it is it's totally blocking me from being able to love Ronnie the way he should beloved. The way he loves me.

"What for, doll?" He asked after kissing me back

"For today. You were so sweet, and I totally appreciate it." I smiled

"You are very welcome my dear." He smiled back. I looked down at our intwined hands, I still wasn't wearing the ring. I won't put it back on until I'm sure. And I've been known for being pretty damn indecisive. Ronnie didn't push, and I'm thankful.

"Carter babe, what's on your mind?" Ronnie voice sliced through my thoughts. I glanced up at him and he had a worried expression on his face.

"Craig. Well, I mean the conversation I had with him." I corrected myself quickly. Ronnie nodded

"What did you guys talk about?" he asked hesitantly, afraid I'd reject him. I feel bad, I always did this to him. He felt like he had to walk on egg shells to make me happy, because, well. He did. I turned into a bitch lately, and all he does is try to make me happy. God, why am I such a fuck up?

"Me and you." I answered. Ronnie looked slightly surprised, but tried his best to hide it, so I didn't point it out.

"What about us?" He answered nervously

"About how I need to be honest with you. So Ronald, ask me a question." I said turning to face him completely. He rolled his eyes at the mention of his full name but spoke anyway

"Anything?" he asked, eyeing me skeptically. I giggled and nodded. "Okay. How about this: Why did you stop eating again? Or better yet, why do you get so defensive when I try to talk to you about it?" He asked, looking at me like a lost puppy. Jeez, all he wanted was answers. Why was it so hard for me to give him some?

"I'm angry." I replied quietly. Ronnie looked confused, but nodded before asking

"About?" he asked quietly, afraid of breaking me. He should be. I'm so fucking scared right now it's crazy. But if I can't open up to my boyfriend who will I talk to? My wall?

"Us." I answered honestly

"What's wrong with us?" he asked

"Besides my not knowing if I even want to marry you?" I asked a little harsher than I meant but then continued "Just the fact that I'm a complete and total bitch to you, but you crawl back for more. You are so fucking perfect Ronnie. I wish you'd see that. I wish you would open your goddamn eyes and see I am no good for you. Why can't you just see that you can do so much better than little ol' fucked up me? I'm a recovering drug addict who doesn't eat. We can't have a single conversation without arguing, and you bend over backwards for me and I spit in your face! But you still claim to love me! How!?" I hadn't noticed I was crying until Ronnie wiped away one of my tears.

"So you're upset that I love you?" He asked, looking at me intently. I didn't trust my voice so I just nodded my head. He chuckled a bit. Yes, chuckled. I spill my heart to him and he chuckles? Okay...

"I just wish I would have stopped this all before any of it happened." I whispered. Ronnie looked down at me, hurt.

"You regret loving me?" he asked

"No! I mean, I love all that we've gone through. I just wish it wouldn't have happened for your sake. I wish you would have realized you could do so much better before you even got involved with me." I answered, looking at him. He relaxed a bit

"Yeah, well. I'm so stubborn I would have kept trying anyway." He laughed

"That's exactly what Craig said." I muttered. I felt Ronnie tense, and then relax. I looked up at him and he was smiling slightly

"Smart kid." He muttered. I smiled a bit.

"Whatever made you think we were meant to be?" I asked, smiling a small smile at my unintentional lyric quoting. I did that a lot. (Quick, what song? Don't cheat! I'll upload early if you figure it out!)

"I don't know. I still don't. But it feels right, and that's all I know." He murmred into my hair.

"It's just so fragile." I whispered

"What is?" he asked, matching my tone.

"Us." I answered staring straight ahead

"How so?" he asked, pulling me closer, if that were even possible.

"We used to be all about each other. We used to love. We were so intense. I was all about you, you all about me. But it feels like since we got engaged it's only been about us being a couple. We aren't Ronnie and Carter anymore. It's Mr. and Mrs. Radke. And it drives me crazy. We worry about being together, not each other. You used to be my shoulder to cry on. You used to treat me so good, you were so sweet. You did the most random things, like plane tickets to Florida for no reason. The carnival, that was perfect. You always came to my rescue, you were my very own superman. You loved me at my worst, and supported me at my best. You helped me get through my drug problem. You didn't leave. You supported my band, and encouraged all my descisions. You would end any argument we had with a kiss. You helped me when I fought with my brother, you put up with me when I pms'ed. And you even bought me tampons and icecream at two in the morning once. You picked out my clothes and helped me straighten my hair. You were brutally honest with me, even if it hurt me. You knew when to hold back though, and you knew when to tease me, or hug me when I tried to push you away. You wouldn't hesitate to help me with something, and we always did things together. You nade me your princess. And you never laughed when I said corny shit like this." I finished with a slight chuckle.

"Wow." Ronnie said. I looked up at him "I was pretty awesome." he teased, I slapped his arm and giggled. "But that didn't answer my question. How are we fragile?" he asked, looking down at me. I sighed

"None of that happens anymore." I said simply. After that, we both shut up. We both knew it was true. But neither of us had even the slightest clue of what to do about it.

And that scared the living hell out of both of us.