Warning: R18
---
I was calm when I talked with the cops again, but I could tell on their faces that they were wary of me, as if they were expecting that I would get hysterical again. I could also see that they were not believing anything that I was saying, and it was making me feel frustrated. But I had to force myself to remain calm dahil mas hindi na gaganda ang sitwasyon para sa akin if I let the frustration eat me.
The police showed me the photos of my room when they went in. Maayos na maayos ang buong kwarto ko. Kahit ang kama, it looked untouched. Although my duffel bag, which was full of clothes, was still on the floor, other than that, there were no signs of an intruder, let alone a struggle that happened when I tried to break free from the stalker's grip. Malinis na malinis ang kwarto ko at ang buong bahay ko.
Kumalat ang usap-usapan about me being hysterical at the whole subdivision and even at work. Kahit hindi ko na tanungin sa office kung kanino nila nalaman iyon ay alam ko na ang sagot. It came from Lyda. The woman had been avoiding me ever since. I was trying not to get it into me pero mahirap lalo pa at huling-huli ko ang tingin ng mga tao sa akin.
The rumor about me having schizophrenia spread like wildfire. The people were now looking at me and avoiding me na para bang may nakakahawa akong sakit which just frustrated and angered me even more. It wasn't like I was really sick, but didn't they know that schizophrenia was not contagious? Hindi nila ako kailangan layuan!
And fuck, wala nga akong sakit! I was telling the truth! There was a dead rabbit on my bed, full of blood! The stalker entered my home and attempted to kill me!
Hindi ko alam kung paano ko sila papaniwalain when the police didn't even find anything. I didn't know how it'd happen na bigla na lang nawala ang rabbit sa ibabaw ng bed ko at kahit isang patak daw ng dugo ay wala silang nakita. It was so impossible na papasok ulit ang stalker sa kwarto ko at malilinis n'ya agad na ganoong kabilis!
If only Nikolaj hadn't told me that he'd seen it too, baka naniwala akong guni-guni ko lang ang lahat. But he told me that he'd seen it. Sinabi n'ya rin sa mga pulis ang nakita n'ya at sa tingin ko ay iyon na lang ang dahilan kung bakit kinausap pa ako ng mga pulis at binabantayan na naman ang bahay ko.
Pero nag-iba na ang tingin sa akin ng mga nasa subdivision at ng mga ka-work ko. Kapag nakikita nila ako, huling-huli ko ang pagbubulungan nila at ang mga sulyap nila. I don't think that they were even bothering to hide it at naririnig ko pa ang mga bulungan nila.
They said that I'm a crazy woman. Na nagwawala ako kapag may episode ako ng schizophrenia. That I was not safe.
Damn it! Damn that stalker! Why is he doing this to me?
It was a good thing that Nikolaj believed me. S'ya na lang ang taong naniniwala sa akin and it made me fall for him even more. I didn't want to be away from him anymore dahil pakiramdam ko ay huhusgahan ako ng lahat ng tao kapag wala s'ya. Nakahanap ako ng kakampi kay Nikolaj.
I'm so glad that he's here beside me.
"How's work?" tanong ni Nikolaj nang makauwi ako ng bahay galing sa nakakapagod na trabaho at mapanghusgang mga mata ng mga katrabaho ko.
I took a deep breath and sighed. Ibinaba ko ang bag ko sa sofa at naglakad palapit kay Nikolaj. Hindi ko na napigilan pa ang sarili kong yakapin s'ya. I was drained, and I needed to get recharged with Nikolaj's hug.
Walang pag-aalinlangan n'ya akong pabalik. I was grateful for it. He gave me a full hug and it gave me the feeling that I was finally safe inside his arms. All my exhaustion for the day and before that just melted away. Kaya naman gustong-gusto kong palaging magpasakob sa mga yakap n'ya.
