WARNING: R18
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I woke up feeling as if someone was caressing my face. I smiled instinctively as I smelled the fresh scent of whoever it was, as if he had just stepped out of the bath and knew who it was before I even opened my eyes. That manly scent mixed with a perfume na hindi masakit sa ilong, was from Nikolaj. He was sitting on the edge of the bed beside me while caressing my face gently with his fingers. He was staring at me, making me conscious of how I looked, something I normally wouldn't do.
"Good morning..." he greeted. "You're going to be late for work."
I groaned thinking about work. It wasn't a good idea to wake someone up and remind them that they were going to work, especially if they hadn't been enjoying their job lately. It was me. I was that someone. Going to work didn't sound appealing to me because of the rumors circulating around me and the judgmental stares of my coworkers, who seemed to be waiting for me to lose my cool at any moment.
Nakadapa ako kaya unti-unti akong tumihaya para umupo while still being careful na hindi matanggal ang kumot sa pagkakatakip ng katawan ko. Nakita ko ang ngisi sa mga labi ni Nikolaj nang itinaas ko pa ang kumot sa dibdib ko at nairolyo ko na lang ang mga mata ko.
"I know..." pabuntong-hininga kong sabi. "You've seen more than this, but I still get shy, you know."
"You didn't have to." Kinuha n'ya ang isang kamay ko at hinalikan ang likod noon. I softly smiled at the gesture. It was so sweet. "Wala ka namang dapat ikahiya," he said with a thick Russian accent, and I felt I wanted to hear him talk more. "You're beautiful, love..."
I blushed. I can't believe that I would blush at his compliment when we did so much more last night. It was wonderful. The pain mixed with pleasure made me feel really good, and I've never felt that way before. Si Nikolaj lang talaga ang kayang magbigay sa akin noon. As if he knew exactly what I wanted and what I needed. And he didn't think twice about giving it all to me.
God... I really like this man. I really love him. I was so lucky that I had someone like him in my life. He always took care of me when he didn't even need to. I was just someone who stumbled into his life and imposed myself on his daily routine. But he was so kind to look after me. He was always so sweet to me. He came into my life when I needed saving. He was there when I needed someone the most.
I mean... Who wouldn't fall in love with a man like that?
Nahihiya akong ngumiti sa kanya.
"Thank you, Nikolaj."
He just stared at me. Titig na titig s'ya sa akin at ramdam na ramdam ko ang bigat noon sa bawat parte ng mukha kong tinititigan n'ya. As if he wanted to memorize every part of me dahil bumaba pa sa katawan ko ang mabigat n'yang titig but he didn't do anything to remove the comforter from covering my nakedness. But I could also see promises in his eyes. As if he was already thinking of ways that he would do to me when we got a chance of being alone again.
Bumalik sa mga mata ko ang tingin n'ya and I sucked in a breath when I saw lust and desire in his eyes. Bigla tuloy nag-init ang pakiramdam ko at naalala ko ang kakaibang sensasyong ibinigay n'ya sa akin kagabi.
Shit... I want to feel it again. I didn't think that I would like the cold feeling of the steel from the knife against my body. I didn't think that I would like the feeling of Nikolaj cutting my skin. It felt as if I didn't know my own body anymore but Nikolaj did. Parang alam na alam n'ya kung anong ibibigay sa akin.
"How's your shoulder?" he asked and I saw how his eyes darkened. Sa tingin ko ay pareho kami ng iniisip ngayon.
To do it again. Of Nikolaj to cut my skin again.
