One Direction Imagines

Words Cannot Express Your Beauty (Niall Horan)

Warning: Self Harm

I had been dating my boyfriend Niall Horan from the band One Direction for 8 months now and everything was going great…for him at least. Trust me, I love him more than anything in the world but I had been dealing with some very serious problems in my personal life. For starters, I had been self-harming for the past 3 months. Also, my father had been abusing me relentlessly. I would always be able to make up an excuse for the new scar or bruise on my body since Niall was too oblivious to notice something was wrong. I was fine with it though; I didn’t want him to worry anyways.

I was currently sitting in Niall’s flat, his arm around my shoulder sitting on the couch watching some superhero movie. I was more occupied with covering the scars and bruises on my arms than the plotline of the film. Niall laughed at each joke and I would smile at his chuckles. His laugh was too perfect for words to even explain. Niall himself was beyond beautiful. His eyes were my favorite feature though. They were a deep crystal blue on some days and on others it would be lighter electric blue. They were mesmerizing. I wish I could be as beautiful as Niall.

The familiar incoming depression I faced way too many times, surfaced once again. I was ugly. I was fat. I was stupid and I didn’t deserve Niall. Niall had gorgeous girls throwing themselves at his feet on a daily basis yet he chose me of all people. It didn’t add up. I felt my eyes well up with tears and I excused myself to the bathroom.

Niall kept watching the television as I walked down the hallway of his flat into his bathroom. I locked it behind me before sobbing, looking into the mirror disgusted by the face staring back at me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a razor; it’s shiny, silver tip looking beyond tempting. I wondered how deep it could cut.

With tears still streaming down my cheeks, slightly clouding up my vision, I subconsciously reached a hand out, grasping the sharp tool. I rolled up my sleeve, revealing old scars. It was time to renew them. I smiled sadly, bringing the cool tip of the razor to the middle of my wrist. “This one is for being ugly.” I dug the razor in, breaking skin and slicing deep into my flesh, blood surfacing. Seeing the dripping blood gave me a sick kick of adrenaline and self-pride. “This one is for being stupid.” I repeated the steps a few times. “Now this one is special. This one is for burdening your beautiful boyfriend Niall with your hideous ass.” The blood dripped into the sink as I cried and dug this cut deeper than ever.

I jumped at the sudden knock at the door. I dropped the blade into the bloody sink. What a mess I had made. “Babe, are you okay? You’ve been in there for a while.” I wanted to respond but words couldn’t form. I felt a bit dizzy and slumped down next to the tub watching the bright red blood dripping onto my clothes and onto the floor. Niall began pounding on the door shouting my name. Finally, he managed to break the door open. His expression read alarmed and shocked when he saw me. “Y/N!” he screamed, running over to me. He cupped my face in his hands. I couldn’t say anything, just sob. He grabbed a towel from the nearby closet, wrapping my wrists in it. He lifted me up bridal-style before carrying me into his dark bedroom, setting me on his warm bed.

I then fell unconscious as Niall left the room for something. I was finally peaceful. I awoke slowly. I was underneath Niall’s covers. I felt my wrists and they were bandaged. I opened my eyes a bit more. They were puffy from crying so much. I looked around the moonlit room and my eyes landed on him. Niall, head in his hands sobbing. “Niall?” I whispered. He looked up and those once happy blue eyes were drained with sadness and tears. It was my fault for it. “Why?” He said in a barely audible whisper. “Why what?” I asked, voice raspy. “YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHAT!” He suddenly roared, standing up from his chair pointing at me. I felt the feeling again and my eyes started watering. I had never seen Niall this angry before.

His expression softened as he saw the tears on my cheeks. He sat next to me on the bed. He wrapped his arms around my body, warming it up and surprisingly, taking a lot of the pain away. He stroked my hair as if I was a baby whispering, “It’s okay. Shh. I’ll hold you. I’ll take care of you. I’m so sorry for screaming baby.” I cuddle into his chest as we laid down, tangling our bodies against one another.

I had finally managed to stop crying when he looked into my eyes and said, “[Y/N] I love you so fucking much,” he paused and this heart-wrenching expression took over his face, “Do you know how much seeing you like that killed me inside?” he said quietly.

I shook my head sadly, eyes wondering. We turned over, laying down staring up at the ceiling. His hand somehow found mine and he laced our fingers together. I suddenly heard that beautiful angelic voice of his. “Stay for tonight. If you want to, I can show you, what my dreams are made of, as I’m dreaming of your face. I’ve been away for a long time; such a long time. And I miss you there. I can’t imagine being anywhere else I can’t imagine being anywhere else but here. How the hell did you ever pick me? Honestly, I could sing you a song, but I don’t think words can express your beauty. It’s singing to me. How the hell did we end up like this? You bring out the beast in me. I fell in love from the moment we kissed. Since then we’ve been history.”

I had tears in my eyes…and for once they weren’t sad tears, but, tears of joy. I looked deep into those beautiful blue orbs and smiled. He leaned in and gently pressed his lips to mine. They were soft and plump and perfect.“I love you too,” I whispered eyes closed. “Promise me you’ll never hurt yourself ever again,” he whispered lowly. I nodded my head vigorously and said, “I promise Niall. I’ll need you though.” He nodded his head too. “Whatever it takes baby. I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy.”

“I’m already happy now Niall.”






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