One Direction Imagines

Broken Without YOU (Harry Styles)

“How long was it?” She asked me with trembling voice. The voice I’ve grown to know that this is the highest level of her sadness. No, it’s more than that. Sadness, disappointment, and anger. I look down at my shoes, knowing well I had gone numb ever since I admitted to her I cheated on her…..

Quietly, yet surely, she repeated her question. One month, I thought. Still.. No words seem to escaped my mouth. The time was ticking away, slowing, as if it was mocking me and my foolish actions. “That’s it! I’m done, Harry!” [Y/N] growled, and got up from the couch opposite me.

It was five minutes later she came back with two suitcases on her grips. And I finally have the guts to lift my head up… Shocked to see [Y/N]’s beautiful face was all red. The sparks I used to see in her eyes was barely there. The red lips I love so much were trembling, and red from the blood that got out from her actions of biting her own lip, trying to be strong.

“I-“

But she cut me to it. “Save it, Styles. Have fun with that blonde bimbo, and better yet, put this damn ring on her finger, maybe she’ll buy your bullshits,” [Y/N]’s words, even though all of them were true, still strikes me to the heart. I watched as she pulled her suitcases, but before completely out of the door; she turned around, throwing me some kind of stick.

“That’s what I was going to fucking tell you. I’ve never cheated. I’m not you,” she stared at me for a while, before stepping out of my flat, and out of my life…

Here’s the summary. I got angry at [Y/N] at our fourth anniversary when she took my phone-playfully. She was shocked, and gave me some jokes but I went silent when she told me “it’s not like you’re cheating” part. That’s when she knew. She told me before the romantic dinner—in our own dining room—she wanted to tell something to me.

Hell, I didn’t even compliment her when she walked down the stairs, wearing her baby blue dress I bought her last year. How could I be so stupid, cheating on my lovely fiancé with a stupid italian model that didn’t have even 0.1% of [Y/N]’flawless . Now that she’s walked out of my life, I regretted every single day I live over the fact I didn’t chase after her.

All I have of her were only memories, and her positive pregnancy test. It’s been two years since that happened, and even though the band is even more successful, I felt empty. Never seeing the child who’d be a year and three months old now, and never seeing the love of my life clearly wrecked me inside.

I’ve never touched any girl ever since she left. I don’t even make any physical contact when fans ask me for photos.

The boys kept telling me to cheer up, move on, and let go a month after she left me. They knew I’ve changed. They knew I’ve never attended any party our friends held, or every after-party we had. I stopped clubbing, stopped tweeting stupid, nonsense things, or even posting weird photos on my instagram.

Everyday’s the same. I came home to drink five or maybe six bottles of beer on the kitchen floor until I fell asleep right there. The boys still take shift to clean the mess I made before the health department pay a visit to this piece of junk I have. It’s all a mess without her.

My hair grew so much that Lou needed to ductaped me on the chair while she cut it off. My usual green eyes turned dull. And I don’t even want to look at myself in the mirror. How is [Y/N] doing out there? How is the child I’ve never met doing now? Is [Y/N] already have a new guy that treats her way better than I did? The thoughts make me want to cry. But I can’t… Because all the tears I have, is all gone.

I don’t know what time is it now when I woke up, but I heard a knock on the door. That’s weird, I thought. The boys will just go in without knocking. Just ignore it, Harry. It’s probably one of the boys.

My eyelids started to drop when I heard a quiet mumble. “Oh my God..”

That voice. I knew that soft, angelic voice. [Y/N]. Open your eyes! Open now!! Damn it.

“Let’s get you upstairs, Sweetheart,” she kissed my cheek and then put one of her small arms around my back. I mumbled something like her name in response; and I could feel her smile as she nod.

When I laid down on my cold bed, [Y/N] left me alone before she came back. I give myself some effort to open my eyes; it was dark—my room—the only light is the small light from the day that peeped in trough the curtains.

She placed her left palm on the back of my head and lifted carefully, earning soft winces from me. “Here, drink this,” [Y/N] whispered quietly. It took some trial to place my mouth on the glass and drink the water, but I did it anyway. She also forced me to drink the pain killer she had bought for me; knowing I must be out of stock.

[Y/N] was about to leave when I caught her hand. Desperately begging her to stay. She replied, “I promised the boys I’ll be back for Luna after I had you on the bed. I’ll come back soon,” with that, she placed a gentle kiss on my forehead and left.

Luna? Is she my daughter, I hastily asked myself.

Do the boys know about this? Why didn’t they come for me today? Why [Y/N]?

Oh. I get it.

They knew what they’ve been doing would do nothing to me. They knew I was this mess because of the girl I loved so much left me. They knew the only person that could bring me up again is only [Y/N]. I couldn’t be more right. They must’ve never lost contact with her, and she finally agreed to pay a visit to me.

I didn’t know how long I’ve been asleep when I felt a touch on my cheek. Small touch.

“Dada, momma?” A cute voice asked.

“Yes, Luna. Now will you take care of daddy for a while while mummy clean up downstairs?” [Y/N]’s voice improved, mimicking the little girl, Luna’s voice. Luna mumbled a “yes” before [Y/N] left the room without closing the door.

I struggled to open my eyes, without Luna noticing. She laid right beside me. I wonder how she looks… My right arm reach for the lamp on the nightstand, and quietly turn on the light. My eyes never left the toddler beside me. I stared at her in awe.

Luna is perfect. She’s a little bit taller than Lux when she’s at her age. Her dark brown curls was tied with a polka dot bow. Its length reached down her shoulders. And those eyes… Those big, [Y/E/C]’s eyes. Luna has my lips. “Dada,” her tiny hands reached out for me. I smiled at her, and grabbed her hand with mine, placing it on my cheek. She frowned as she wiped away my tears. I didn’t even realize I’ve been crying.

“Hey, Luna,” I cracked a grin, and wrapped my arms around her small frame. Her body was slightly shaking from the cute giggle she let out. “Momma said dada was on tou, so that’s why dada neve met me,” her voice muffled, couldn’t say ‘r’ yet.. I pulled back in response, surprised of the little girl’s words. “Is it ight, dada?” Her big eyes were staring at me, even though the light wasn’t too bright, I could notice the cute, little freckles on her flush, red cheeks.

I smiled, and pulled her in for another hug. “Yes, baby girl. I was on tour so much. But now I’m home, so we get to spend all the time together,” I sniffed. “Daddy loves you so much,” I added.

After ten minutes of cuddling and catching up with Luna, I found out her full name is Luna Annabelle Styles. She was born in Manchester on February 2nd. A day after my birthday.

I bit my lip hard, and finally let the question I’ve been thinking slipped out of my mouth. “Does mummy love someone else?” I closed my eyes, hoping for a no.

“Mummy loves uncle Collin but I hate him so much,” I could sense her frowning. “Hate? Baby, that’s a strong word,” I turned to look at Luna. She closed her eyes, “uncle Collin always gives mummy ouches and screams at me.” With that, she cried and pushed herself on my chest. I was shocked. Why the hell [Y/N] loves someone like that? Why would she wants to stay with a jerk like Collin?

My breath hitches as I got up from the bed. “Stay here, Luna. I’m just going to the bathroom, and I’ll come back, okay?” I had to repeat the okay part because Luna had clenched my shirttail as soon as my presence was absent. She finally nodded and then closed her eyes back.

I quickly brushed my teeth from the foul odor that’s been sticking on my mouth ever since I was down to this drinking habit. The shower I took was probably not even a shower as it was only happened for some minutes. At least I’m clean and the only scent that was on my body is the soap.

When I came back to my bedroom, I saw that Luna has fallen asleep on my spot, leaving me to smile at the sight but then remember I have to do something. My feet juggled down the stairs, already spotting [Y/N] at the corner of the living room, sweeping some dust. She turned around when she heard me and startled, to see me sober up quickly. Truth was, I didn’t even know how I could do it myself. It’s probably [Y/N], already brings out the real me again.

I asked her the most obvious question as I close the gap between us. “Does that Collin guy hit you?” My voice stern. [Y/N] couldn’t help but gasp, and then she walked across the room to the couch; her favorite place when we lived together. “He does. I was fine with it; as long as Luna’s identity remains unknown. Then I notice Luna told my mum and dad, and they told me to leave him—I tried after that, believe me. But the first time I tried, Collin made me hospitalized and he acted sad and told everyone he came home to see me at the end of the stairs; slipping off. He squeezed my injured arm a bit hard to indicating I had to say yes to everyone. H- He-” [Y/N] cried into my chest as I had previously follow her to sit beside her. “Shh.. You know you worth so much better than that. Leave him, please. And live with me. Stay with me. I’ll keep you and Luna safe. I will tell the world who Luna is. Just don’t walk out of my life anymore-we both can’t afford to lose each other-I’m a mess without you.”

All I remember was a slight nod from her, telling me she was a mess without me too. When she fell asleep, I called the police to arrest Collin for physical abuse reason. A week after that, judge called off the court, saying that a dozen of women came to her office, claiming that they were Collin’s victims too. Then showing some believable evidences after. Collin ended up in the jail for many years he’s worth.

After that, [Y/N] finally cracked a smile. Luna, being the toddler self, told me ‘mummy finally smiles’ sentence that shocked me. It’s awful to think she had never smiled for a couple of years.

A week after Collin was arrested, I began to fix myself. Mending the bond with everyone-the boys, my family-including [Y/N] and still catching up with Luna. I also told in an interview that Luna is my daughter. I ended up tell everything—from the start until the end—that I couldn’t help but cry. The media went crazy with the news, the fans gave me some bad words but I knew I was wrong. Some weeks after that, it was all calm down. Some fans [Y/N], Luna, and I met on the streets even asked to be photographed with Luna. Perhaps they couldn’t help but adore her adorable figure.

Months after that, I proposed to [Y/N] with the old ring that I still kept in my pocket everyday. She said yes with tears streaming down her cheeks. And told me she loved me when we said our vows in Italy. Now, even though she told me she hates me so much as she tighten her grip on my hand—almost broken the bones, we both knew she loves me more than so much. She loves me and she loves Luna that she loves the family will be joined by two bundles of joy in blue blankets.

CREDITS: https://twitter.com/sstyles_x