I don't want to be insecure, but I am
Thoughts flood my mind as I think about another girl holding your hand
My brain fights itself not to start
But here I am again breaking my own heart
I push myself away so that I can stay "okay"
I'm hurting myself in the process, but it's all the same,
Because if i stay there's a chance you'll leave anyway,
So, instead of waiting, I walk away.
I want to answer your text. I really do
But my mind fights me and tells me not to
I can't help myself but to stay confined to this hatred I feel for myself deep down inside
I don't want to hurt you
I scream and I plee
But what's the point in my voice if I'm unable to breathe
I feel like I'm drowning in a pit of my own sorrow
Unable to think of the prospect of tomorrow.
What if i lay in the water while my wrists bleed
The cuts so deep that I no longer have to replay the memories
Instead, I confine myself to my room
Afraid of the things that I might do
I drown in the confines of my bed
The place that has held so many tears is where I rest my head
The nightmares are endless as I sleep the day away
More scared of what might happen if I stay awake
I want to tell you I really do
But I want more to sheild you
Away from the self hatred that I consume
Because it's not your mind, it's mine
And I feel bad about the way that I feel inside.
