Burning Sensation

ᴛʜɪʀᴛʏ ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ

I stare unblinking as the door slams shut behind him. He's done. He's completely done with me and I have no hope for us anymore.

"There's nothing I want to do with you anymore. Seeing you? Seeing you here disgusts me."

The sound of his voice rings in my ears, a haunting echo that refuses to fade. Every word, every inflection, every pause replays in my mind like a broken record. I see his face, the lines of anger and hurt etched into his features.

His eyes, once warm and loving, now burn with a cold, unforgiving intensity. The disgust is palpable, a visible revulsion that seems to sear itself into my skin. I relive the moment, the weight of his gaze settling upon me like a physical touch. His expression is a mirror held up to my own guilt, reflecting back the ugliness of my actions. The memory of it is a festering wound, refusing to heal.

I stare at the papers on the counter of the kitchen. With a deep sigh, I reach for the pen close to it, signing my response to him.

With a numbness I've never felt before, I head up the stairs to my room. My own room. Not Valerio's room that I've been using for the past months, but the room I originally thought I was going to use.

It felt strange. Unknown. I don't even remember any memory from it, it wasn't even like a room, just where I kept my clothes because there wasn't any room left in Valerio's closet.

Stripping, I step into the shower, the blast of cold water was like the breaking of a dam.

I slump against the cold wall, my body sliding down until I hit the floor with a soft thud. The tears I'd been holding back finally broke free, streaming down my face in a hot, bitter rush. My chest felt like it was caving in, each sob a jagged knife twisting deeper into my heart. I covered my face with my hands, trying to shield myself from the agony, but it only seemed to intensify the pain.

My shoulders shook violently as I wept, the sound of my own despair echoing off the walls. My breath came in ragged gasps, each inhale a shuddery hitch that made my body tremble. My nose ran, my eyes burned, and my throat felt raw and tender, but I couldn't stop. The grief and guilt poured out of me like an open wound, each tear a reminder of what I'd done, of what I'd lost.

I rocked back and forth, my arms wrapped tightly around my knees, as if I could hold myself together. But I couldn't. I was shattered, broken into a million pieces that I didn't know how to put back together. If love is meant to be fun and good, why does it hurt so much? The tears fell, a relentless deluge that seemed to have no end, and I let them consume me, let the sorrow wash over me like a dark wave.

Valerio is a catch, he can head out and pick a nice girl to be with and I'd be forced to watch the man I love be with and create a life with someone else just because of a stupid mistake I made.