Under Control

Chapter 1

A stinging noise rushing through my ears piercing my brain, walking me up abruptly sending me back to the land of reality which i so sourly regret every single morning of my life. The same sad processes every morning.

It's not that I don't like mornings. I just don't like what i have to wake up to. You ever feel like nothing is exactly what it is supposed to be? It's neither really bad nor good it's just not enough either. It's like you are missing something constantly and no matter how hard you try to remember what it is. It never comes to mind.

I reach for my still ringing alarm before it could possibly disrupt my hearing senses like i've been going to first row concerts ever since i was 17. I forcefully open my eyes to the bitter sight of my alarm. My eyes barely able to comprehend the difference between the buttons displayed on the very annoying clock i owned but wish was never invented.

I click the snooze button offing the horrid sounds that still ungracefully ring in my ear as i sit straight. I rub my eyes and with my terribly bad eye sight i
Incautiously stand up grabbing my black secretary glasses that almost define who i am. I sigh as my vision begins to clear.

I am almost 29 and i have accomplished nothing in my life, yet. I'm getting older and i am still yet to offer something that could be useful to someone out there. It's like I'm living for nothing. I have no goal in particular or I don't have enough motivation to accomplish anything. I want to do something but what can i do if i always feel like i'm quiet horrible at everything there is to do.

I broke of my brains un pleasant thoughts as quickly as i could before glancing back at the clock. 6:35am it read informing me that i have 25 minutes to get ready for my job.

I walk with a consistent fumble towards the bathroom I push the door back closing the door not realizing that i had pushed it a little too hard until a hard bang irrupted an irrelevant throb in my head. It felt like a thousand cars crashing into one another.

As soon as the throb barley disappeared, i remember a few events from last night. I got drunk yet again. It seems to happen often lately. My life schedule is pretty annoyingly the same every single day.

Wake up. Get dressed. Get to work. Bore the shit out of people half or the exact same age as mine. Fall in love all over again with my best friend whose engaged by the way. Try to forget her and move on therefore drink up a whole bar. Get drunk enough to need a cab. Get a ride home and collapse in bed. Hopefully avoid doing any stupid drunken mistakes.

I sound like a drunken alcoholic but actually I'm a drunken alcoholic professor teaching psychology. Oh the irony. And nothing annoys me more than people who pretend to know other people's lives like they've been living in their shoes. Acting as though they understand every little action that is foreign to the eyes of humans.

Don't they just annoy you? How they always want to help? Thinking that if you just talk about it it'll magically get of your chest? It takes more than just words to change how a person feels.

Why am i teaching it? Well i used to like it before it fucked me over and now it's the only slot available left at the Uni i work in and it helps me pay my bills plus it's the easiest subject meaning i get a lot of money cause a lot of students sign up for it just to finish their straight A streak.

I get dressed, i normally don't put much effort in my clothes. Some people mistake me as a student. Which i guess is not a bad thing. Anyway i make my way to my car and drive to work.

As soon as i reach i grab the cup of coffee i had bought on the way and entered my class right on time. As I expected almost all the class was full except for one chair. I didn't even have to ask who's seat it was because just a few seconds later she walked in.